Being at university, I am forced to become very friendly with public washrooms. This new friendship has made me realize several things:
1) The first stall is usually the cleanest. I don’t know why, but people don’t seem to like to go into the first stall.
2) The soap lady in charge of re-filling the soap containers is actually a ghost, and she can’t really move tangible objects, so all the soap is puddled on the floor/counters instead of in the soap containers.
3) Half the women who use the women’s washroom think they’re men.
The third realization is most shocking, but probably the most accurate. Why? Because I’ve observed that 50 percent of the time I enter a stall, there’s pee on the seats. And since it’s physically impossible to pee on the seats if one were actually seated on the toilet seat, these women must be trying to deny their gender. When will they accept the fact that a woman’s urinary complex is not designed to be able to aim?!
Seriously. If they have trouble accepting this, then they should practice their aim in the men’s washroom.
I also had a nice chat with the campus police via the elevator telecom today. I accidentally pressed the alarm button instead of a floor just as a boy entered the elevator. He didn’t see me press the alarm button, but did hear the telecom connect to the campus police. I think he was very confused as to what I had against him that I would want to connect to the campus police when he was standing a foot away from me, unless I was trying to frame him for assault.
Oops.