Girl and City

It’s strange, how hindsight affords you with perfect vision. It always happens like that, huh? In hindsight, you always realize some seemingly insignificant moment in the timeline that could’ve made all the difference. More often than not, there’s more than one.
Oh, all the choices we make.

Shed
Like a carcass
A freed shell
Old skin
Stuck between rocks
On a lush forest floor
Disposed
Its owner long gone
With a shiny new coat

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You know how every girl has at least one story about a boy who was a complete stranger but was memorable somehow? The Boy on the Subway. The Boy in the Coffee Shop. Well, this is mine about The Boy on the Bus.

It being Saturday, I decided that I deserved to indulge in a bit of shopping – despite it being exam time and all (I mean, why should we sacrifice our lifestyle habits just because of silly little things like exams?). So I headed to the nearest “mall” in search of some healthy snacks to combat those late night munchies.
Anyway, I was almost late for the bus as I came out of residence but managed to just catch it after running half a block. Then, after I finished shopping and was just coming out of the mall, I saw my bus passing by on the road. And, seeing as how I had already wasted time shopping and I didn’t want to waste more time waiting for the next bus, I decided to run after the bus again. Groceries in hand and all. It was not my most graceful moment.
But, I did make it. And I was very pleased with myself, even though I must’ve looked extremely foolish running an entire parking lot and a block to catch the bus with God knows what rattling in my backpack and bags of groceries in my hands.

As I sat down, I laughed in spite of myself for being the silly girl who seems to always have to run for buses. I mean, this was the second time today and about the zillionth time in my lifetime. Am I lucky for often being able to catch the bus or unfortunate because I always have to run after it?

In my mind, a commercial was playing with the dorky high school kid running after the bus each morning and all the kids inside are inwardly laughing at this sad little fellow because the bus driver is a nasty old man who hasn’t had sex in a century and therefore won’t stop to let the poor kid on.
Actually, I’m not sure if there is a commercial like that, but that’s not the point. The point is, I felt supremely silly, and almost a little bit cursed. (more…)

So I decided that I really needed to get into “exam mode” and start seriously studying. I planned to wake up early and spend the entire day at the library (it’s open from 8am to 2am). Needless to say, my plan failed. Here’s some evidence of my so-called “studying” (I made these notes in Microsoft OneNote when I was supposed to be taking notes. And yes these are DIRECT quotes ladies and gentlemen. This is as close as you can get to a LIVE blog):

2:33pm
My ears are bleeding.

2:39pm
This website is hilarious! What kind of freak is he married to? <– a serious question.

3:10pm
Coffee = waiting in line
Waiting in line at Timmy’s
Waiting in line for washroom
Waiting in line to wash hands

Girl in line before me comes out of the stall and exclaims “It won’t stop flushing!”
Uh, what’s the problem? Is there toilet water getting on your ass? No? Well, then, what’s the big deal? There are five people waiting in line for a two-stall bathroom, and now you’re claiming one to be out of order because the toilet is continuously flushing?
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How many of you have ever gone on a strict diet only to realize that it was making you fatter?
*shoots my hand up* Me!

What are the restrictions of my diet? No carbs, one serving of protein a day, no chocolate (real or fake), and nothing made almost entirely of sugar.
Pretty much a big fat NO to everything I enjoy eating.
So I’ve been surviving on salads (no dressing), fruits, bags and bags of baby carrots (I think I consume about a pound of baby carrots a day, no joke), and coffee (although I’m not supposed to, I often ask for my coffee with half hot chocolate – which tastes really good by the way! – but technically, I’m supposed to have either dark coffee or that Splenda fake sugar stuff).
Says the girl who’s wiping muffin crumbs off her mouth.

See, if I actually were on that diet, I’d probably be thinner by now. Instead… well, for example, yesterday I had a liter of ice cream (homemade chocolate ice cream!) and a bag of chips. And the day before that I had a chicken finger wrap and a huge platter of nachos.

You see, the problem is that just the idea of being on a diet makes me hungry. Not your typical hungry either, it’s that kind of “OH EM GEE I AM DEPRIVING MYSELF OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN LIFE what wonderful and delicious things could I be feasting on right now!” craving for all unhealthy foods in existence. Sure, that happens to all of us once in a while, especially when we’re down and Haagen Dazs seems to have the answer to all of life’s problems. But imagine that kind of craving screaming in every inch of your being EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY.
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Amidst cramming my head with valuation methods, breakevens, and SWOT analyses while cramming my mouth with roasted peanuts and low fat yogurt and sesame dough twists, I suddenly realized: Since my conversion to WordPress from MoveableType two years ago, I have only made my own WordPress layout once.

Can I even show my face in public anymore? (By face, I mean… not face. Presence, maybe. And by public, I mean The Internet).
How is it possible that I’ve put this off for so long?? Sure, I’ve gotten a lot busier in the last two years, but having a beautiful website was something I used to pride myself on. Sometimes, it would make me visit my own blog more than twice a day! (This was before the popularization of RSS feeds — oh god, now I feel like an internet grandmother. I can just hear myself saying, “Back in my day, we had to click 20 times before we found a site with an RSS feed! *wheeze* Betty honey, be a sweetheart and pass me my false teeth. That’s it dear.”)
Maybe it’s because there are so many pre-made themes out there and WordPress makes it so easy to switch themes. But that shouldn’t be an excuse! I mean, that’s like saying “I’ve been wearing diapers all my life because they make it easy to shit in my pants and not worry about it.” I may be a veteran blogger, but I’ve always prided myself on being “up with the times.” And now, suddenly, I feel like I’ve just looked in a mirror and realized that my skin is pale and sagging, my boobs sit where my stomach used to be, I can’t walk down stairs, and I basically look like I died 20 years ago. Meanwhile, everyone else is running around with toned abs and sun-kissed skin.

So. Before I start any more online projects, my first task will be to make a full-featured WP theme for this blog from scratch.