Girl and City

Coming-of-age story about a girl and her city.

Browsing Girl and City blog archives for January, 2008.

Life as a Sofa

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. A lot of things have happened, beginning with my inability to keep new years resolutions, climaxing to a whole credit-card-overdrawn fiasco, and culminating into a horrible flu that I am still fighting.

So, let’s break this down, since I am a list kinda gal:

  • Inability to get over ex-boyfriend – check!
  • Inability to prioritize my time – check!
  • Inability to stop emotional binge-eating – check!
  • Inability to carefully read the small print before agreeing to anything, and then inability to convince the merchant that automatically billing my account for a trip I am no longer going on is unacceptable, and then inability to reach anyone at the credit card company other than the soothing voice that tells me they are “experiencing higher than normal call volumes with wait times up to 20 minutes” – check!
  • Following from the previous, inability to use credit card because it is over the limit and I don’t have enough money to actually pay the bill, which is ridiculous by the way because I was very careful with my spending this month and the reason I decided not to go on the Spring Break trip was precisely because I didn’t want to be in a situation like this – oh the irony! – and now inability to buy anything – check!

And this all culminated into a germ-infested week-slash-weekend where I was so sick and drugged that I pretty much couldn’t move. It’s funny, every time I wish the earth would swallow me whole or I could just die for a few days and then come back when things aren’t absolutely horrible, I end up getting sick. I think my immune system is too easily influenced by my mood. It’s as if when I lose my will mentally, my white blood cells just sort of throw their little flagella (arms) in the air and surrender to the big bad viruses that are flooding the gates.
Spineless little things.

Anyway.
At least being horribly sick gave me a legitimate reason to lock myself in my apartment and not attempt to deal with anything until I can breathe through my nose again. Unfortunately, I chose not to see a doctor because I have a deep dislike for physicians, and waiting, and waiting for physicians, so I’m not sure how legitimate the “sick” excuse really seemed to everyone I blew off in the last four days.

Meanwhile, I’ve been sleeping, eating, watching Friends, and having a jolly ol’ time.
While also feeling ridiculously sorry for myself and just kind of wishing that if I lie on the sofa long enough, I could become the sofa.

Because the sofa does not care that it is now Monday morning and I have a completely packed schedule starting at 7:30 in the morning and ending at about midnight. The sofa does not have to worry about getting up early enough to pack myself a lunch so I don’t starve like I did last Monday. The sofa does not care about all the emails and voicemails I have to respond to reschedule the meetings I canceled last week. The sofa does not care about having to explain to my boss, for the second time in 10 days, why I skipped out on work without telling her. The sofa does not care about having to call the credit card company, and wait an hour if must be, in order to convince them that the $400 billed to my account was unauthorized, despite what the tour company claims. And the sofa does not have to worry that if the credit card company does not believe this story, then the sofa will not be able to pay rent unless the sofa does not spend a single penny until February. And the sofa doesn’t have sofa-parents who are financially strained as it is, and who would feel extremely stressed if they knew the sofa got itself into such a situation as a result of trying to take the burden off its parents.
Moreover, let’s not forget that the sofa does not have two exams coming up, and the sofa does not have an unforgettable ex-lover. I think.

So I think becoming a sofa really is the answer to my problems. At least, that’s what I’m going to tell myself to get through the rest of Monday. Maybe by Tuesday, I’ll find a better solution.

5 comments on this entry so far. Life as a Sofa was published on January 21st, 2008, under the Day to Day, Me, Me, Me! category.

Most Important Resolution of All

9. WILL GET OVER MY EX AND MOVE THE FREAKING ON.

How could I forget that one? Doofus doofus doofus!
Excuse me while I bang my head on the table repeatedly until my eyes are crossed and my forehead is purple.

So last night, there was a dinner / get-together organized by a friend from high school. I hadn’t seen MFL this holiday yet, so I asked him and another mutual friend if we should do something before dinner. They both readily agreed but she, the mutual friend, only got off work an hour before dinner, so MFL and I decided to go to Koreatown (to satisfy my dukbokki craving) beforehand and then hang out until she got off work.
Innocent little plan, right?
Not so much. Because, see, the scheming little witch, yours truly, really just wanted to see MFL. Against my better judgment, I wanted to spend time with him, away from the crowd, to sort out the feelings I still had for him. The afternoon itself was glorious, no doubt. We were as comfortable together as ever, and I honestly thought that perhaps there was still hope for us, that the old feelings were not completely lost. But as it turns out, the rumours about him being single have recently been made false, and so I am once again back at square one. Still in love with a guy who is neither physically nor emotionally available, and hasn’t been for the last two years.

The worst part about this is that he still treats me so well, with what seems like genuine concern, and he is oblivious to the fact that his benevolence is tormenting me! It’s like dangling a steak in front of a starved dog, and when the dog jumps up to get it, he crashed into a glass wall separating him and his steak. Complete misery, right?
The little boy in Love Actually got it right on the mark when he said, “what is worse than the complete agony of being in love?”
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

7 comments on this entry so far. Most Important Resolution of All was published on January 5th, 2008, under the Dating & Relationships category.

New Year, New Start?

I suppose today is the day everyone dishes out New Year Resolutions. Not that it matters because who ever sticks to them really? Exactly.

  1. I will prioritize school. If that means quitting a couple things, then so be it. Sacrifices must be made!
  2. I will study for the LSAT and do shockingly well. Shockingly, I say.
  3. I will get a driver’s license. Enough of this public transit business. After that, University Town drivers can go hump a moose for all I care.
  4. I will get an internship in Beijing/Singapore/somewhere similarly Asian and exciting for the summer.
  5. I will not let binge-eating take over my life. Enough with the fried chicken and ice cream already!
  6. I will find a nice boy who is not a smoker, drug dealer, or rapist. Must also not be a work-obsessed, self-obsessed, unimaginative retard.
  7. I will be literate in Chinese.
  8. I will drink less. Or rather, get drunk less.

I’ve already made a head start on number 5. Within five minutes of cheering in the new year I was gnawing on a piece of fried chicken.

New Year’s Eve for me started with a lot of disappointment from my friends who backed out of my party last minute (after I spent a day cooking and cleaning), which was slightly redeemed after I went to a friend’s family party. Her family and relatives were so incredibly nice and really made me feel included, so at least I could count down the new year with a smile on my face.

Here’s to another year of following New Year Resolutions!

5 comments on this entry so far. New Year, New Start? was published on January 1st, 2008, under the Me, Me, Me! category.