Most Important Resolution of All
5 Jan
9. WILL GET OVER MY EX AND MOVE THE FREAKING ON.
How could I forget that one? Doofus doofus doofus!
Excuse me while I bang my head on the table repeatedly until my eyes are crossed and my forehead is purple.
So last night, there was a dinner / get-together organized by a friend from high school. I hadn’t seen MFL this holiday yet, so I asked him and another mutual friend if we should do something before dinner. They both readily agreed but she, the mutual friend, only got off work an hour before dinner, so MFL and I decided to go to Koreatown (to satisfy my dukbokki craving) beforehand and then hang out until she got off work.
Innocent little plan, right?
Not so much. Because, see, the scheming little witch, yours truly, really just wanted to see MFL. Against my better judgment, I wanted to spend time with him, away from the crowd, to sort out the feelings I still had for him. The afternoon itself was glorious, no doubt. We were as comfortable together as ever, and I honestly thought that perhaps there was still hope for us, that the old feelings were not completely lost. But as it turns out, the rumours about him being single have recently been made false, and so I am once again back at square one. Still in love with a guy who is neither physically nor emotionally available, and hasn’t been for the last two years.
The worst part about this is that he still treats me so well, with what seems like genuine concern, and he is oblivious to the fact that his benevolence is tormenting me! It’s like dangling a steak in front of a starved dog, and when the dog jumps up to get it, he crashed into a glass wall separating him and his steak. Complete misery, right?
The little boy in Love Actually got it right on the mark when he said, “what is worse than the complete agony of being in love?”
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Sigh. I would kill right now to be in unrequited love. You know, there’s a reason why they don’t make movies about being contentedly married for 20+ years. Go rent Brief Encounter. I envy you for having a romance, even if it’s a torment.
Well, if this MFL person just makes you suffer, you know what you need to do..cut off the supply of the crack!! Don’t see him!! It will just make you suffer more…
I haven’t been in a relationship at all so I can’t offer you any advice but all I can do is *hugs*
Wow, two years. I don’t know how to offer you any advice. You just have to make yourself face 100% it will never happen…not until then can you really move on. I wish you the best!
It sounds cliche, but it’s true. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don’t worry, you’ll find your “fish” soon.