Secrets
27 May
One of my favourite books by Sophie Kinsella is Can You Keep a Secret?. The reason is simple: the heroine of this particular story has some secrets. Mostly derived from a few little lies. Ok, maybe more than a few. See? I do it too. But who doesn’t?
We all have secrets, from little lies that we tell, or what we don’t tell. We already know there are plenty of things I don’t tell. Here are some more.
Secrets from my boss:
- I told the CEO at Not-A-Real-Job that I wasn’t doing anything this summer other than this internship. Complete lie. As you all know, I am
desperatelysecretly searching for another job. - He is obviously going to find out when he receives a call from places I have applied to because I put him down as one of my references. I probably should have told him that he is one of my references. I also said I’d been an intern with him for two months. Slight lie, considering I started last month. Hmm…
Secrets from my parents:
- My parents think I have never bombed a single course in university1 and that I am awesome at science. Neither of these beliefs are correct. I did bomb a course (Cell Biology), which just goes to show I am not awesome at science. I just left the field before it became obvious. My parents desperately want to believe I am awesome at science because 90% of the people in my family are serious scientists, and they want me to join their ranks. Imagine their disappointment when I went to business school instead.
- My mom thinks I am trying to lose weight. Not because I said I was on a diet or anything, just because she thinks I should. So it’s really her fault for making assumptions. When she is not home, I eat ice cream. Lots and lots of it. She also thinks I go swimming every other day. I do not.
- That stain on the bathroom rug that my mother loves? The dog peed there. But it was because I locked the dog in the bathroom when she was getting really annoying. My parents think the dog just went crazy on her own (which does happen sometimes) and I’ve never corrected their notion. It’s not like the dog is going to tell on me.
- One time, my phone dialed my home number on its own while I was out clubbing at 2am (it must have been pressed against something in my purse and hit speed dial). All my parents heard on the resulting answering machine message was “loud noise” (their words, not mine – my guess is it was very loud music). They called me back and when I saw that “Home” was calling, I didn’t answer because I was drunk and I didn’t want them to know I was still out clubbing. They thought I’d been kidnapped or something terrible had happened to me and the recording was all I could get out, so they called the police. I never told them the truth. I switched phones after that incident.
Secrets from my friends:
- I have not told WAF what I really think about the guy she’s seeing. He sounds sketchy as hell, and he is probably
badpoisonous for her. But she has fallen pretty hard for him, and anything I say will fall on deaf ears or incur a slew of defenses. I secretly think she wants to be with these bad boys, some form of thrill-seeking or self-destructive behaviour. I mean, her last boyfriend seemed like an angel until he beat her up on my birthday. So who does she rebound to? A guy who is a player, a cheater (he has a girlfriend), and a drug dealer? This can only end badly. - I secretly think WAF is exactly what I would have turned into had I had more neglectful parents or weaker moral boundaries (maybe the two have something to do with each other). That is why we are friends, and why I do not judge her for her bad habits or moments of weakness – because in another life, I would be her. I actually kind of admire her for being able to vent all of that out. I, on the other hand, might explode one day with all my repressed sinful thoughts
and run away to be a prostitute addicted to hard drugs who eventually falls off a hotel balcony. - OBF knows that I want her relationship with USG to
end in their marriagework out, hence I am the first person she runs crying to every time they have a fight. What she doesn’t know is that I think she’s the cause of these fights, because she is needy and demanding and emotionally unstable. I mean, I love her and all, but seriously, this girl can blow up like Mt. Vesuvius.
Any secrets you’d like to share?
- The Asian definition of bombing: getting below an 80 – or a 3.7 out of 4.0. [↩]
Haha! I love this entry!! It has inspired me to do my own… :P
It comes out on your 21st huh? So lucky!!…I work on my 21st :( So retarded. Oh well.
Good luck with your job hunting!!
You should definitely read Remember Me and The Undomestic Goddess…and check out Meg Cabot’s books too! :)
Let me know when you post yours! :)
oh and yeah, I didn’t really care much for Queen of Babble in the Big City, but I’m thinking that I’ll have to go back and give it a second chance. :)
love this book – one of my all time favs!
hey, hello! *waves
thank you for visiting my blog, and now, I am totally in love with yours :D
I love your every post, especially, this one.
I have a lot of secrets too, I can’t even remember each one of them, lol. And you inspire me just top dig my brain and maybe soon I’ll post some of my secrets on my blog, haha
I adore pretty much everything Sophie Kinsella has written!
And I had an almost exact experience when my cell phone self dialed itself to my home phone! There were no police involved, but there were many, many phone calls to my friends and their parents, which made it equally mortifying haha.
Yes, well I was in University Town and my parents were in The City, so they figured the best way to get to me was through the police. Of course they didn’t find me so I didn’t actually have to deal with the police in person. But imagine if they had showed up at the club. Ohh boy that would not have been fun.
hahaha this is an AWESOME entry! :) i love the story about your dog…AND your clubbing story! can’t believe they called the police! too funny! (right now…im sure it wasn’t funny back then!) haha! :P
Your parents have very high expectations for you! I’d be happy with a B if I couldn’t achieve an A (then again, I’m all about the As…)
My former co-workers always told me never to put my boss down as a reference…if anything, put down a close co-worker as your reference who will truly be honest to the employer that is calling in.
Yeah I should probably no better by now not to put down my boss (I have another story about this) but I never really trust my coworkers to give a proper reference. I mean, they’re all young’uns like myself, I don’t want them to be talking smack and not taking it seriously =/