Stranded in The City
22 Jun
Yesterday, I met BI in Chinatown and filled her in on what had happened with HB over baskets of steamed dumplings and rolls of fried dough.
“He blamed it on my sleepwear, as if I was wearing it to seduce him!”
Like a good girl friend, BI mocked outrage. “You? Seduce? Impossible.”
“It gets better. Guess what I was wearing?” I paused for dramatic effect. “I was wearing a purple cotton dress with a pirate face on it. My mom had bought it for me.”
BI laughed so hard she nearly fell out of her chair. The patrons on either side of us looked at us before resuming their meal. We didn’t stop laughing until the waiter arrived with our glutinous rice roll with meat floss1 and rolled scallion pancake with sliced beef.
“Although, maybe my mom was trying to buy me suggestive sleepwear. Maybe that’s her tactic to get me knocked up sooner.”
“Why would she want that? Grandchildren?”
“Bingo. I don’t even know if I want kids, but every time I tell her that, she just ignores me and starts describing her fantasy.”
I took a bite of the scallion pancake. Although it tasted good, it was made all wrong. Scallion pancakes are supposed to be thin and crispy, but this one was thick and doughy. The sliced beef was good though, so I picked those out from inside the roll.
“Her fantasy,” I elaborated once I’d finished chewing, “is to drive a school bus. Full of my children. And the children would bound out one by one, followed at last by a golden retriever.”
BI stopped mid-bite. “A school bus?” She asked, appropriately horrified.
“A school bus,” I confirmed solemnly, having already accepted my fate as some sort of baby-pumping machine.
BI couldn’t help but laugh, but I was not amused. “The only way I can fulfill her fantasy is if I do in vitro. I figure, if they can get the fertilized zygote to split enough times, I’ll only have to donate two or three eggs to fill up a school bus.”
The waiter returned with two steaming baskets of dumplings.
BI ignored the food and leaned across the table. “You realize that that is basically cloning. Are you really going to clone yourself a bus full of children? Honey, your genes are good, but not that good.”
At that, I had to laugh.
After I said goodbye to BI, I headed to LSAT training. The training ran nearly 40 minutes over, so even though I rushed down to the train station in a frenzy, I had missed my train back to University Town by mere minutes. The next train was leaving at 10pm and wouldn’t arrive until 1:30am. I had no choice, I had to work on Monday. So I bought a ticket and wondered what I’d do for the next three hours.
As I left the train station, I was not in a good mood. I was still wearing my skirt suit and heals from LSAT training. My feet were killing me (I’m pretty sure I was bleeding into my shoes but I did not want to look) and the blouse was starting to stick to my skin. I decided I needed a place to sit down and relax, possibly with a drink so I could sleep on the train.
I must have looked ridiculous wandering around downtown in a suit, with a bursting backpack and a tote, limping and muttering to myself. I was looking for a place to change when I suddenly realized that I had forgot to pack my tops. All I had on me were two pairs of jeans and half a dozen pieces of lingerie I’d bought the day before. If I wanted to change underwear, I was set, but otherwise, I was stuck with the skirt suit.
I found a place to rest my feet in the front courtyard of a large shiny building, that must house hundreds of bankers and lawyers on the weekdays. I checked my backpack again, not believing I could have forgotten to pack tops. Lucky for me, I found a t-shirt stuffed into the corner of my backpack. I was so overjoyed at the possibility of changing into normal clothes that I started to change on the spot.
Yes, I stripped down to my underwear in front of one of the shiniest buildings in the middle of the financial district. I seriously hope they have no video cameras pointed at the front courtyard.
Since it was a Sunday afternoon, there weren’t many pedestrians around. On the other hand, half my classmates from The Business School were working in these buildings this summer and if any of them had to go in on a Sunday afternoon and saw me, I never would have lived it down. But I wasn’t thinking about any of that. I was only thinking that I needed to get out of the suit and heels ASAP.
Only one man witnessed my strip show, he walked by while I was trying to pull my jeans up, but he pretended not to notice my ridiculousness. He probably assumed I was a crazed intern who had to work on a Sunday and was now getting ready to go to a bar and get sloshed.
He wouldn’t have been far off the mark.
Immediately after I’d changed into more comfortable clothes, I attacked the next order of business: finding myself a drink. And there was one drink in particular that I was craving: Long Island Ice Tea.
Luckily, I am not a girl who worries about being being seen eating or drinking alone, although I had never had much occasion to do either. I walked until I found a street patio tucked on a quiet side street of the entertainment district and, before I knew it, I was sipping on a cool Long Island Ice Tea. I smoked my last cigarette and practically inhaled my drink, already eyeing the lychee martini as my next victim. I hadn’t had any food since dim sum this morning, so the alcohol hit me pretty quickly. Soon, I was feeling light-headed and famished. After devouring a plate of freshly cut fries, I settled into the only reading material I’d brought with me: Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger.
Sitting on the quiet street patio with my book, a good drink, my last cigarette, and made-to-order comfort food, I realized I was not the least bit self-conscious that I was alone and essentially stranded in The City. In fact, I could not have felt better. Maybe it was the alcohol getting to my head, but I really felt grateful that I’d missed my train. How else would I have gotten the opportunity to spend such quality time with my favourite city?
I slept like a baby on the train, and when I finally stumbled into my apartment at 2 in the morning, I could not have been more optimistic for what Monday would bring. Because once you’ve stripped in public, you feel pretty much ready for anything.
- Meat floss is what it’s called on their menu, which I find kind of bizarre. It is actually dried shredded pork. [↩]
A drink, a book, comfort food, and some good old fashioned alone time sound like a dream.
The school bus and golden retriever thing is so funny! Okay, maybe not for you, but all I could think of was The Partridge Family bus when I read that, lol
I just looked up Partridge Family and I am now more horrified than ever.
Also Britt, you are always the first to comment! How do you do that? You are an absolute comment fiend! I love it.
My Google Reader is super efficient, I guess *shrugs* Plus, I always seem to be at my computer when you update, lol! Good timing!
While I’m slightly mortified by your mother’s dreams for you, it sounds like you’re currently doing a pretty good job at defying them! ;)
Best Friend and I were just discussing today how we could never go to a restaurant alone, etc… but your evening sounds pretty relaxing!
It definitely takes a bit of courage to step out of your comfort zone to dine alone, but once you’ve done it, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Picking the right place to do it also makes a big difference, because you don’t want to be surrounded by families or large groups, that would definitely be more uncomfortable then if you were in a sparsely populated restaurant.
Waaaah! I can’t believe you changed in the middle of The City!!! @_@; haha I am just too shy to even imagine such a thing.
It’s true, I have no shame. I should have been mortified when the guy walked by while my jeans were only halfway up, but all I could think was how funny a blog post this would be. There is something wrong with me, isn’t there?
Haha, I don’t know if there’s something really wrong with you. All I can say is perhaps you live with less cares than I do. I mean, at least you’re comfortable with your body, right? haha
First off, I kind of love your mom because she gives me hope. Thank the heavens that there are crazier people than my relatives.
Oh, and HIGH FIVE for the eating alone in the City. I get odd stares from my friends when I go to the movies alone/have a coffee alone etc.
I think when you’re in public alone, you’re more approachable, so it’s actually easier to meet people (hopefully not creeps). I’ve eaten alone in a restaurant once before, and the chef came out to talk to me for a good hour. He almost hired me as a waitress on the spot!
This time didn’t really count since it was a patio/bar, not a restaurant, but the bartender was very nice to me and we realized we shared a common love for Forever21 accessories, so she recommended some other accessory stores to me. That sort of thing never would have happened if I hadn’t been eating alone.
I worked through lunch today, so that rice roll looks glorious.
But changing in the middle of the city? You are definitely ready for anything.
lol. too much funny thing in this post!
1. Your mom fantasy, serioiusly, a school bus? Man! lol. Maybe she loves kids toooooooo much ;)
2. Your adventure in the city, duh, lol. I do it often (which some security would end up ask me as if I am a lost little girl -”where’s your parents, kid?”- but I’ve never stripped in the city before, so you beat me, lol :P
Yes, she does love kids, although I’m not sure if she tells me that fantasy to scare me or if she really does want hoards of grandchildren.
Boys are complicated and ridiculous. But, who needs boys when you’ve got delicious food? Haha.
That’s what I always say! Delicious food is a much more dependable and instantly gratifying obsession ;]