Misread Signals
16 Sep
Last week, I went to a CD release party for an indie band that was too hip for me. Apparently, I have terrible taste in music because I listen to whatever is on the Top 40 charts. So bite me. Suffice to say, hipster indie parties are not my scene.
So how did I find myself mingling with indie artsy kids who were all wearing the same outfit (plaid shirts, ripped jeans, and vintage lace-up shoes) in the contemporary gallery of a downtown art museum? I was there because my cute co-worker insisted I go. He was best friends with my other cute co-worker, who was in the band that was hosting the party. CC1 had gone out of his way to invite me to their shows several times, but each time I’d said no because I’m not really into indie music and I’m busy as hell. But last week when he asked me whether I was free Friday night, it suddenly occurred to me that maybe he was so insistent because he liked me. Maybe he was just wanted to see me outside work. Sure, he rarely talked to me at work, but maybe that was because he was shy or weird. Artsy types are always a little bit weird, right?
Anyway, I convinced BI to go with me to provide a second opinion, since she was always good at picking up signals where I am utterly clueless. When I arrived, CC2 (the one in the band) was the first to spot me and gave me a big hug. Half a dozen of my coworkers were also there, all of whom were surprised to see me. At first, CC1 was nowhere to be found, but then I saw him mingling around the room. Oddly enough, he didn’t come talk to me until nearly an hour after I arrived. When he did come by, he was very friendly, and we flirted as if we were much closer than we actually were. However, it wasn’t long before he ran off again. It started to dawn on me that CC1 didn’t want to spend time with me, that perhaps he had just been adamant about inviting me to their shows because he was the self-appointed promoter for his best friend’s band.
Eventually, I had to confess to BI my true motives for inviting her, since it was clear that I wasn’t actually there for the music. When I asked her who she thought had a crush on me, if she had to guess, she guessed every one of my coworkers except CC1. Embarrassed, I decided not to tell her what I had really been hoping for all night. Why had I even thought that CC1 was interested in me? Just because he had invited me, and several dozen others, to this party? Just because he was a little flirtatious? Maybe that was because I’m a girl, not because I’m the girl.
This is why, as a general rule, I don’t respond to flirting. Because when I go out on a limb to give a guy a chance, it never pans out. Perhaps it’s better to stay clueless.
I totally know that feeling! But then again I was told that I need to learn to flirt! :P
Lol, I’m totally oblivious to guys so it’s hard to eeek out the signs, maybe I need to take someone with me so they can tell me what they see!
I whole heartedly agree. CLueless is better. We don’t get our hopes up so we can’t be let down…
I don’t like it when those indie kids who think they’re super unique judge you. First of all, songs are on the top 40 for a reason! And it’s stupid when they complain about selling out for making tons of money.
And it’s really hard to read signals or act out… it’s really difficult to invest effort into these things because you just don’t know what will happen!
You’re not the only one. I am utterly clueless when it comes to guys flirting with me, so I misread signals all the time. I totally misread my boyfriend’s signals when we just met; he was trying to pull the cool act and I thought he was completely uninterested in me. I still pushed for it :3 there have been more disastrous incidents with past guys… let’s not talk about that :P
The point is, it’s good to go out on a limb every once in a while. You’ve got to take a chance to move ahead in any direction :] someday you’ll go out on another limb and you won’t have misread the signals.
Ah, sometimes it’d be better to know the true intentions behind an invitation, I hate mixed signals so badly. And I laughed at your description of their clothing; that’s basically an indie person’s ‘costume’. Sorry to hear the event was kind of a bust, hope your weekend is much better :)