Baby loves to dance in the dark
14 Nov
I don’t know what’s gotten into me. It seems like I keep going clubbing these days, even though (I thought) I was over that scene.
More importantly, I get unimaginably bad hangovers now, and each time, I swear I’m never going to drink again – it’s that bad – and then, a week later, I find myself at another pre-drink. What is up?
I think somewhere between October and now, I realized that I have more sex appeal than I used to. I mean, I used to be more desperate and naive1, and while that might be appealing to some (har har), now, I am an older, more confident version of myself. I’m also ten pounds heavier, but surprisingly, that hasn’t stopped guys from hitting on me.
So on Thursday, I shimmied into an outfit I had bought a long time ago but never wore because I didn’t think I was skinny enough to pull off a body-hugging dress. And yes, I haven’t gone to the gym in three months, and yes, I eat ice cream almost exclusively, but I still wore it, and I wore it proudly.
I arrived at my friend’s pre-drink only to realize that it was a major sausagefest. I knew most of the guys there, so the flirting was kept to a minimum. The guys were taking shot after shot of absinthe and aged whiskey and tried to drag us down with them. I had some of the whiskey, which was okay, but I didn’t touch the absinthe. A limo arrived to take us to the club, and one of the guys threw up in the limo. That definitely killed some of the atmosphere. But once we were in the club, things picked up again. There was a joint event held by the Asian clubs happening, so there were a lot of Asians there, many of whom I knew from first and second year. The downside of knowing most of the people was that I was more uptight than I otherwise would have been; I didn’t want anything happening that people could gossip about. On the upside, guys I sort of used to know kept buying me drinks, so I didn’t end up spending much money at all. As a result, I was quite drunk2, but I kept it together and even took care of some of my friends.
All this partying and “meeting guys for one night only” almost feels like I have given up on finding a boyfriend. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m going to be moving to Singapore in less than a year, so anything that starts now will have an expiration date (I don’t do long-distance relationships). Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m going to be graduating soon, and this may be my last chance to act like a reckless 20-year-old.
Whatever the reason, I feel like I should just embrace it. Once I graduate, even if I do go clubbing, it won’t be the same. I won’t be surrounded by horny university students3 who just did eight shots in an hour at a pre-drink. Alas, partying in university has just become another thing in my life with an expiration date.
I always said that desperation is the key to NOT find a BF
Being sure of yourself and less intense is a turn on
Oooh I like that dress! I don’t fancy myself in dresses either (since my diet consists of a horrible amount of cookies and ice-cream) but others seem to think I’m more than okay in them. Oh well. Here’s to more more confidence! *CLINKS*
I’ll drink to that!
I don’t know why but lately, the thought of going to the gym has been particularly unattractive. I know I’ll have to reckon with my high-fat diet soon, but I don’t want to yet.
Although, the bus drivers are on strike starting Monday so I will have to start walking to campus. At least I’ll get some exercise that way! (Although lugging around my laptop and books will NOT be fun. I don’t want to be a hunchback!)
What a revelation this has been to you..hey, as long as you’re enjoying yourself!
I love your dress. It is awesome!
1.) You’re gorgeous even with that altered picture.
2.) Embrace it, have fun and report back with stories. When you look back on your college years you won;t remember the hangovers but the nights before them :)
Thanks Meghan!
You’re totally right, I won’t remember the hangovers, I’ll just wonder why I didn’t want to get crunk every night! Haha, just kidding.
But certainly, those are the nights with the best stories.
Don’t feel bad for being out drinking and clubbing you’re only young once, I was caught up in that scene until I got pregnant! :)
That picture is amazing…I love your outfit! I have gotten bigger than I used to be too (no one else notices but I feel it)
I’m not even 21 yet (6 days) and I know that I am going to be addicted to the club scene just like you are! Don’t feel bad…we all need fun stories to tell ;)
Club nights always lead to fun stories don’t they? What can I say, we need a little drama in our lives. Haha
I think it’s common for people who put on a little “all-around weight” to notice it themselves, but most people (especially people who only knew me in university and not before) don’t notice at all. It’s also possible that our body image expectations have changed (I know I was definitely less conscious about my body before university).
Yea, I think I’m undergoing the unconfident and naive phase, cannot wait to somehow pull myself out of it! Because really…..it’s SO appealing, lol!
I feel like that too. I’m going clubbing more and drinking more but I’m not getting these hangovers…cuz I try to sober up before I sleep. Blacking out and all – is not for me.
Whatever, you can always get back in the scene! You only turn old when you stop playing.
I never go to bed still drunk. If I’m still drunk and I lie down, I just feel nauseous and the room spins. Sometimes I’ll fall asleep upright (like prop some pillows behind me) to avoid that. But most of the time, I wake up a few hours later when the alcohol has passed and I’m in full-fledged hungover, hugging-the-toilet mode. It’s horrible.
I don’t know why I do this to myself =.=