To Starting Over
24 Nov
I know many of my entries these days have been rather materialistic – about my travels to New York, shopping sprees1, limos and champagne, etc. – but my life hasn’t been all about that.
If you recall, the day I got my job offer was also the day my father was fired. Since then, my mom has been bringing home the paycheque. Needless to say, this arrangement is not exactly ideal. My father has always been “motivated to succeed” and losing his job deeply hurt his pride. Moreover, there aren’t a lot of jobs out there these days, especially for a man of his seniority and experience. I have been hesitant to ask how the job search is going when my parents call me because I don’t want to give him unnecessary pressure. His own pressure to be the man of the house should be more than enough.
But from what my mom has told me, my father’s pride may be his undoing. He is so convinced of his own value and self-worth that he has been very picky about what jobs he applies to. Obviously, an entry level job would be beneath him, but at the same time, can he really expect to get a high-paying management job when firms are trying to slim down their middle management in this recessionary period?
Due to his own stupid mistake (long story regarding his email settings) the job search has been fruitless and it has already been a month. This weekend, when I got back from New York, I finally broached the subject with my father as we were in the car.
It was clear that there were very limited job opportunities in his industry of expertise, although his IT skills could be applied to other industries as well. He mentioned that he had seen (comparatively) more IT job postings in health care and banking, and I immediately encouraged him to pursue those leads. At first, he was reluctant, as he would essentially have to “start over” as far as domain expertise, but I told him that if he got in early in an infant industry, he could get promoted fairly quickly. He seemed to take my advice, and the more we talked, the more he warmed up to the idea of doing IT-related things for health care (which I convinced him was a recession-proof industry with heavy government subsidies in Canada, and therefore, more stable than banking). He might have to take some time to re-train himself, but he actually seemed excited about having to learn new things and the prospect of a new challenge2.
The conversation left a few impressions on me. It made me realize that even my father, who has a PhD, who has worked for over twenty years, has insecurities about his abilities. It made me realize that I have valuable information and insights, particularly because I go to business school, that are applicable to real life and useful for pragmatic decision-making. It made me realize that my parents see me as equals. My voice has always been heard in our household since there’s only three of us, but giving advice to my dad about his career really cemented this feeling.
At the end of the conversation, not only was I able to shed some light on recent trends and give some advice on attractive industries, but I was actually able to make my father feel excited about his career. I could tell he had been dreading fully plunging himself into the job search because it would re-confirm his unemployed status, and it would also make him anxious about his abilities and value to a potential employer. But after this discussion, he was infected with some of my “the world is your oyster” talk. Even though he is much older than me, I really do believe that he can start a new career, that he can find a job that he actually wants to get up in the morning for, and that it can totally be worth it to start over.
So, Dad, here’s to starting over. Cheers.
- I have yet to write about what I bought, which I plan to as soon as I have time to take some pictures. So yes, more materialism to come. [↩]
- As opposed to finding another job doing exactly the same thing, particularly a management job with few technical challenges and more HR challenges. My father is not really a people-person. [↩]
1. Cheers to materialism!
2. Cheers to your Dad embarking on a new journey!
3. Cheers to.. well, cheering.
Being in IT myself, I know how it feels. What sucks the most, is that my jobs are all across the border.
Canada is too small of a market for what I’m in. It’s slim pickings lately.
I am hoping 2010 will be a burst of awesomeness for all IT folk!
You’re right, Canada is too small a market. The other problem is that we don’t really promote “IT clusters”, which are all over the U.S. I mean, Waterloo is known for RIM but it’s too small a city to attract many others. It’s really important for the education facility (i.e. university) and the industry to match up in order to create clusters. Our government really hasn’t focused its efforts on developing the economy, all they worry about is our social net and healthcare.
I think that is so awesome that you were able to give your dad some inspiration and a starting point on the job front. I’m sure it meant loads to him.
That seriously, is maple syrup sweet. <33
That was so touching.
I think it’s really hard for older guys to put away their pride, but I definitely feel like going out there and earning something is better than sitting at home all day. Of course, there are concerns about once you take one job lower than you feel yourself to be worth, you’ll be see that way evermore.
That said, I think it’s really great you were able to help him out and even motiviate him a little. It’s great that your parents respect your opinion so much.
I was surprised myself that he took my advice so seriously. A few days ago, there was an article in the newspaper about healthcare IT and I sent that to him. Then I was on the phone yesterday with my mom and she said that she saw him browsing through healthcare IT job postings.
I didn’t want to put too much pressure on him though, so I told my mom (just like I told him) that it was ok if he wanted to take a course and whatnot as opposed to going straight to work. After all, university has been paid for and I will be financially independent soon, so even if he takes a little longer to find a job, that’s ok.