Girl and City

Everyone has habits or quirks that are particular to them. Sometimes, we’re not even aware of these behaviours until someone points them out to us or something draws our attention to them. These little habits are what makes each of us unique from another, but some of us have more quirks than others.

I’ve been told by many people that I surprise them, that I’m not quite what they expected. Although I’d like to credit this surprise factor to my unparalleled sense of humour, I am starting to think that perhaps it is due to my strange habits. Or what I’d like to call “curiousities” – as in, “Oh, that’s curious” (although no one talks like that anymore).

• I watch Friends in my spare time. In all of my spare time. As in, if I’m not sleeping or working or in class, I am watching Friends. I have watched the entire 10 seasons of Friends at least 10 times. I have memorized every line, and yet I never seem to tire of Chandler, Joey, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Unless I am in the midst of watching another movie/TV show, Friends is in my DVD player. My roommate doesn’t understand how I can have Friends on repeat incessantly. What she doesn’t know is that, to me, they are almost like real people, waiting for me at home at the end of a long day. Their trivial problems and lame jokes that I’ve heard a hundred times are a welcoming escape for whatever else might be on my mind.
• I have to look good for exams. I will always put thought into my outfit, blow-dry and straighten my hair, and put on make-up, before going to an exam. I know no one’s going to be checking me out during an exam, but the point is that I want to look put-together. I don’t want to look like I was cramming until the last minute because I wasn’t. I don’t believe in last-minute cramming. I figure, if I look ready and confident, maybe I will feel ready and confident. It’s the best good-luck charm/ritual there is.
• I spend more time preparing breakfast than any other meal. I never skip breakfast to begin with, but even when I am too lazy to cook lunch or dinner for myself, I am willing to cook breakfast. Even more so on important dates, like exams and interviews. Somehow, it’s like starting the day off right makes me feel like I accomplished something, and if I feel accomplished by 9am, it’s hard to bring me down the rest of the day.
• I don’t talk to strangers. Even harmless, friendly strangers. It’s not that I don’t know how to chat, it’s that I don’t want to. Perhaps it was ingrained in me when I was much younger, because friendly strangers were not as prevalent in China. But I’ve been in Canada for nearly 10 years and still, I do not want to have conversations with strangers. On the other hand, I can instantly become best friends with someone I’ve just met, but only after a formal introduction.
• I believe in formal introductions. For example, if I am talking to Bob, and Bob’s friend joins our conversation, I will not acknowledge Bob’s friend until Bob says, “SG, meet my friend, X.” And then I will warm to X immediately. But if Bob never introduces us, I will ignore Bob’s friend and probably drift away from their conversation and let them continue without me.
• I use the Thumbnail Method to peel a banana from the stem, and I cannot understand people who peel bananas from the opposite end.
• I always use British spelling, and Canadians who use American spelling irk the hell out of me. I am even more riled when I see American spelling on Canadian sign-posts.
• I always mix wasabi and ginger into my soy sauce when I eat sushi, even though I know it’s wrong. But I eat sushi because of the wasabi-soy sauce mix, so it’s not something I am likely to change anytime soon.
• I like to wear heels but I hate the sound it makes on hardwood or granite floors. To mitigate this, I sometimes tiptoe in high heels so the heel doesn’t hit the floor.
• If there is an ingredient I don’t like in a food, I will pick it all out, every last bit, even if it’s messy. If the bad table manners is really unacceptable in that setting, I will not eat it at all.
• I am a picky eater, but I hate people telling me I am a picky eater. Because when they say it, it sounds like they’re chastising me, whereas in my mind, I am no different from a food critic (i.e. I am critical of the food I eat). On the other hand, I hate to waste food (of food that I actually will eat).
• I only eat Navel oranges by slicing them into wedges with the peel still intact. I will never peel a Navel orange.
• Before a night of drinking, I always make sure I have some fattening foods stored at my apartment. When I get home that night, I will always pig out and watch TV for a few hours until I pass out. So even though I may get home at 2am, I definitely won’t be in bed until 4am.
• I can’t go to bed immediately after getting home, drunk or not. I always have to “de-compress” by watching TV or something, so that my mind is cleared before I go to bed.
• I prefer to hang, rather than fold, my clothes. In my dream home, I’d have huge closets and no drawers at all.
• I do not wear or own yellow clothes.
• I feel naked without nail polish, even though most of the time, I wear clear or nude nail polish.
• I eat cereal as a snack. When I am on vacation, the first thing I buy is a box of cereal, which can be both a snack and a meal.
• If the United Nations does not recognize a state as a country, I do not recognize it as a country. And if anyone ever mentions it, I always immediately point out the fact that that state is not a country, even if it is not the time or place to start a controversial discussion. It’s like an instinctive reaction, even though sometimes I really should keep my mouth shut.
• I like the idea of eating eggplant, but I don’t actually like eggplant.

What are your curiousities?

At first glance, I fit the “nerd” stereotype. I’m smart, I do well in school, I’m good with computers (bonus points for having an online persona), and I wear glasses. But that is where the stereotype ends. I drink, I party, and I make friends wherever I go.

I am also a slacker.
Most people equate good grades with studious. But this is an illogical conclusion. Case in point. This morning, I had a four-hour exam. I spent the entire week watching Queen Seon Duk, a 62-episode Korean period drama, telling myself I would study when I got back to University Town. I got back on Monday, and spent the entire day yesterday watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy¹. I spent an hour in the morning blow-drying and straightening my hair². And I spent most of the four hours during the exam trying to scrape off the chipped nail polish on my fingernails.

But I wouldn’t be surprised if I got an A on the exam. It’s happened before.

If my friends knew how little I study (for exams or in general), I think they would all stop being my friends. So I always pretend to be studious when it’s close to exam time, and I always pull in my weight for team projects. After four years of university, my peers have yet to realize what a slacker I am.

1. I suppose that earns me extra nerd points, but to be honest, it was because I had no other DVDs in my apartment, and I wanted to watch something on our plasma TV as opposed to on my computer. [↩]
2. I always have to look good for exams. I don’t know when this ritual started, but I cannot allow myself to go to an exam with sweatpants and messy hair. I may look like that all week, but at the exam, I will look pristine. [↩]

Have you ever thought that maybe someone liked you? You don’t know why you think so, but something in their gaze or something subtle in their actions alerts your instinct. Sometimes, you go out on a limb to test that theory. And when you fail to prove yourself right, you think, “God, I am such an idiot. Why would I ever think that he liked me?”

I have had this sort of experience hundreds of times. I’ve been told that I have strong intuitions when it comes to whether a guy is interested in me¹, but most of the time, I cannot get any confirmation. More often than not, nothing becomes of it and I feel foolish for thinking a guy “like that” would like a girl “like me.” To experience this over and over again is a humbling practice.

But recently, I experienced the opposite, and I want a written record of this to remind myself that perhaps my intuition has been spot on more often than I thought.

When I went out on Friday night, I mentioned that I ran into a group of people I used to hang out with in first year. I never considered them to be my friends, but back in the day, we always seemed to be at the same parties. One of them, CG, used to live in my residence and was always very friendly. He was cute and we got along really well; I thought maybe he had a crush on me, but then I found out he had a girlfriend. I decided that he was just someone who was (naturally) overly friendly, but that he never actually liked me. I ran into CG two or three times since first-year, and he exhibited the same over-enthusiasm, which only confirmed my suspicions that this was the way he was. However, when he showed up at the club on Friday, he did not leave my side all night. Even DG noticed, but I kept telling her it didn’t mean anything. So, to prove to me that he really was interested, DG asked CG to buy us drinks. CG does not frequent bars and is not a big spender, but after looking over in my direction, he bought all of my friends and I drinks. He was a typical frugal Asian boy – he didn’t even buy himself a drink – but it looked like he was trying to impress me. I refused to be impressed and walked away, hissing to DG that she was not allowed to take advantage of him like that. “It only worked because of you,” she hissed right back.
For the rest of the night, CG continued to dance by my side, taking every opportunity to hold my hand or dance alone with me. He was all over me, not in a drunk, aggressive kind of way, but in a “Is this my chance?” kind of way. It almost felt like he was relieved to have run into me again. I smiled to myself, even though I was no longer interested in him. All I could think was, “I was right! Back in the day, when I thought he might be interested in me, it wasn’t just my imagination. I was right! I was right!”
When he tried to talk to me at the end of the night, I already knew that he wanted. Before he could ask me about my relationship status, I cut him off. “It was nice seeing you again,” was all I said, and left.

The affirmation that my instincts were right came way too late, but that is not the point. The point is that my instincts were right, and from now on, I should not so carelessly dismiss myself just because someone’s actions does not match what I think. As I’ve already said, boys do not make sense, but that does not mean I should feel foolish. Instead, they are the ones to feel foolish, because I was right.

1. Maybe I am super sensitive, but I always notice when a guy makes physical contact, however casual. [↩]

I missed Valentine’s Day this year.
It wasn’t until I read the blogs of my Internet friends that I was reminded of the fact. By then, Valentine’s Day had already passed.

I don’t make it a point to “celebrate” Valentine’s Day. However, in the past, it was the anniversary of MFL and I, so it was always announced with suitable fanfare. Even after I broke up with MFL, Valentine’s Day has never gone unnoticed (despite my feeble protests). I have always received attention from a gentleman on Valentine’s Day, short-lived as some of those attentions were.

This year was the first Valentine’s Day where I received nothing. No phone calls, no roses, no chocolates – not even a heart-shaped card.

You’d think I’d be disappointed, since one of my New Year resolutions was to spend this Valentine’s Day with someone I was actually interested in. And I am – a little disappointed – now that I think about it.

But I didn’t even notice.

This year’s Valentine’s Day coincided with Chinese New Year, which is a much more important event to me than Valentine’s Day. I was so concentrated on Chinese New Year festivities that I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day. All the better, it seems, considering the circumstances.

Instead, I celebrated Chinese New Year with an abundance of good food and good cheer.

I may have missed Valentine’s Day, but I don’t miss it.

Proof #1

My friend met this guy at the bar one night, and they really hit it off. They talked into early morning, and even had breakfast together. He told her that he couldn’t wait to see her again. She didn’t take it seriously, but gave him her number anyway. Over the next two weeks, he was texting her all day and calling her before bed every night. They saw each other a few more times and it seemed like he was crazy about her. Then, one night, he asks her to meet him at the bar. When she arrives, he was already there, grinding another girl.
In her words, “I couldn’t believe it. Not only was I confused since he had asked me to meet him there, but the girl he was grinding was totally ugly!”
I tried to decipher the cryptic behaviour, but could only conclude that the guy was a dumbass. I mean, even if he was out grinding other girls on the nights that they weren’t together, why invite her out to witness the event? He knew she was coming to meet him, did he want to get caught? Perhaps that was his way of telling her she didn’t mean that much to him.

—

Proof #2

When TDH singled me out on Friday night, all of our friends were there, dancing in a circle around us (literally, facing us). He seemed not to care, which is pretty bold for an Asian guy. Although I expected my friends to feel awkward about watching us grind, I later learned of another reason. Apparently, he had a girlfriend, who they were all close friends with (I knew of her as well, but I didn’t know they were going out), and the only reason she wasn’t there that night was because she was sick. How do you explain that?

—

Proof #3

For the first time in weeks, PLB said more than two words to me. What for? To invite me as his date to his friend’s wedding.
Are you kidding me?
You were the one who was all over me, forcing me to make plans with you on a night when I already had plans. You were the one who then unceremoniously blew me off with a lame excuse. If you were trying to make a point that you didn’t want to date me, that’s your prerogative and you made your point loud and clear. Fine, that’s fine. And then you invite me to your birthday party of close friends, none of whom are friends of mine. But that was a Facebook invite, so I ignored it. Now you’re telling me that, according to the Valentine’s Day questionnaire we filled out a month ago¹, I am your match, and therefore, I must be your date to your friend’s wedding?
I have two words for you: Not happening.
It turns out the acronym I gave him, “Preordained Lover” is a curse. Well, at this point, I don’t care how many signs there are that we are meant to be together, I don’t care if the hands of Fate herself reach out from an other-worldly portal to push us together, it is Not. Happening.

1. A fundraiser at our school for Haiti, you have to pay to get your results. [↩]