Day 24: Beyond the blog
24 Jul
Part of 30 Days of Me.
I’ve been blogging for eight years, so you can imagine that I’ve gained and lost a lot of readers during that time. A few of my readers have been following me for up to six years, which is longer than I’ve known some of my closest friends. In addition to commenting on blogs, I have also gotten to know readers through email, chat messenger, snail mail, and occasionally, in person. Today I’m going to talk about one reader in particular with whom I have done all these things.
I stumbled upon PJ‘s blog in 2004 through the blog of her (real-life) friend, Tatiana. PJ was a very consistent commenter, and seemed to take a genuine interest in my life. After a year of following each other’s blogs, we became penpals. We wrote each other embarrassingly long letters every few weeks, and this lasted for several months. We even sent each other birthday presents by post.
At the time, PJ was studying in Vancouver, but in 2007, she transferred to Ontario for university to be closer to her boyfriend. So I took a bus to her university and finally met her. We spent the afternoon chatting and catching up with each other’s lives as if we’d known each other all along. Although she was not what I expected (I don’t really know what I expected), we got along extremely well and she remains one of the sweetest people I have ever known.
In 2008, she moved in with her boyfriend in UniversityTown, so we saw more of each other. We even had a baking party at her house, and that was when I met her boyfriend.
She had just gotten engaged when I first met her in 2007. I didn’t expect to be included in her wedding, but she ended up inviting me to her wedding shower, bachelorette party, and wedding. At her wedding shower, I also met Tatiana, the girl whose blog I had read in 2004.
In the summer of 2009, PJ had a small wedding of about 100 people in a country club on the outskirts of the City. I felt so honoured to be included in her special day and to be among the most important people in her life.
Looking back, it’s unbelievable how a few comments in 2004 sparked this friendship. Unlike my real-life friends, I am not worried about what my move to Singapore will do to this friendship; I know this friendship will withstand the test of time and distance because we have overcome that already. We did not become friends out of context or convenience. We made a commitment to each other when we were total strangers because we related to each other on a deeper level.
PJ is one of two bloggers I have met in real life. I also email/chat regularly with three people I met through my blog. Most of these relationships span over three years. Considering how important anonymity is for me as a blogger, this is quite a lot. Soon, I will be adding two more to the list, as I will be meeting The Girl is Goosed in Shanghai (and staying with her, in fact!) and hopefully meeting Nashe in Singapore.
These experiences, seeing someone make such a commitment to a total stranger, gives me faith in the human race. It also reaffirms my belief in the power of blogs. Blogging is not just for entertainment. When you share yourself truthfully with the world, the people who respond are ones who identify with you, regardless of background or context. And that can be a very powerful thing.
So I am very grateful to readers who comment, not just for the two-way communication, but because it leaves me in awe of the empathy and sympathy in this world.
Have you ever formed “real” friendships with readers of your blog or blogs that you read?
That is really an awesome experience! I have yet to meet any blog friends in person, but I really hope I can someday! You’re on that list, you know! lol I definitely agree, though, that blogs are more than just typing what you think, it can be the most candid form of expression and can really help you find friends who can honest to god relate to you in ways outside of your town’s community. The Internet really brings out the best and the worst in people, dosen’t it?
You are on my list too! It sucks that I haven’t gotten to meet you and now I’m going even farther away, but if I ever have an assignment in the U.S., I’m sure that opportunity will arise again! (Or if you ever go to Asia… OMG, how cool would it be if we met in Japan? Anything is possible!)
Before anyone blogged, I was a part of another online community where I befriended a girl. We were penpals in the same way you and PJ were – 20 page letters, pictures, the works, every few weeks. I finally met her several years later, when we were in college. Now we live in the same city and are no longer friends.
I actually wrote a blog about her… go to my page and click on Jamie Starke. :)
She turned out to be f*cking nutso.
I read that entry of yours! She did indeed sound like a nutjob. I was luckier than you, I suppose, my penpal didn’t turn out to be socially awkward or crazy :P
it’s funny that you mentioned this because for the most part, no one except bloggers can understand what it means to 1) be a true reader of someone’s blog and 2) to meet the person whose diary you have been trailing for years. one of my best friends today owns one of the first blogs i came across when i first began using the internet (umm that sounds prehistoric – the days of no internet! but it’s true!), and we now meet whenever we have time. it’s weird that though these memories are very far, i can still remember when i used to talk about middle school and she about high school, and now she’s not even at a university anymore, and we’ve grown up.
people who haven’t touched blogospheres sometimes draw the distinction of “online friends” and “real life friends,” but i definitely don’t have that. i find it amusing that knowing such a distinction doesn’t exist is something that only we, as bloggers, can truly realize.
It’s so true, and it only really applies to a certain type of blog too, I would say. Because I certainly don’t have the same experience from my food blog as I do with this one. It has a lot to do with opening up and trusting strangers, so that they no longer feel like strangers to your life.
My closer online friends come from online communities, like the commenter above. One of them was supposed to visit me when I still lived near Chicago, but it never happened. My closest online friend is younger than I am and doesn’t necessarily feel comfortable with the idea of meeting. We text and call each other every once in awhile, and there were some letters sent between us. One day I’m sure he and I will meet though, we’ve kept in touch for so long already, it has to happen!