Girl and City

Last night, I attended the first recruiting event for this school year.

Yes, I remembered how stressful last year’s recruiting events were. They turned me into a mess. And this year, despite already having decided to apply to law school, I plunged myself into the craziness anyway. What can I say, I’m a masochist.

The result? I became utterly confused as to what I want to do. Are you surprised? No? You’re smarter than I am.
I had no real questions for the recruiters because I was still sitting on the fence about this whole recruiting season anyway. The only question I really needed answered was: how do I marry the best parts of being a lawyer with the best parts of being a consultant? More importantly, how do I choose a path that will make me happiest?

What appeals to me about law and consulting have a lot in common: working with clients, having different cases to work on (each day can be different), a great deal of ownership and autonomy over your case/ideas, and an environment where you are not only encouraged to speak up, but obligated (as the McKinsey recruiters call it, “obligation to dissent”).
These characteristics suit me well. I am incredibly passionate and motivated in the short-term, but not so good at long-term commitment. I lose interest after I cross the first hurdle with flying colours. I am very opinionated, but I only speak up if I think my ideas will be listened to, merited, or have impact.

But there are also major differences between law and consulting. Consultants are known for not really having skills. Sure, problem solving is a very valuable skill, but considering that we’re being recruited out of business school with zero industry experience, and then paid loads of money to tell industry leaders how to solve their problems, I can understand the skepticism and criticism. When I spoke to one of the recuiters last night, I was told that after 2-3 years at McKinsey, Business Analysts (our title when we’re recruited) can decide either to continue with McKinsey or to pursue a different path (MBA, grad school, working in industry, etc.). This sounds to me like people do not stay consultants for life. Sure, it may be one of the most attractive jobs you can have when you’re fresh out of business school, but five years down the road, you either commit to climbing the ladder at the consulting firm you started with, or you work in industry¹. So, not only do you not have “real skills,” you also can’t switch consulting firms².
Law, on the other hand, gives a lot of credit for experience, first surviving the education portion (learning the laws, which is a life-threatening ordeal as laws are deathly boring), and then developing your reputation as you work in the field. The more experience you have, the more popular you are. And there are no qualms about switching law firms, as long as you work in the same field (i.e. if you decide to take corporate law courses in law school, you cannot become a litigation lawyer³ later in your career).

Having said all that, one of my greatest dreams is to have the opportunity, not only to work on different cases, but to work in different countries. The international transferability of a law degree is low compared to consulting. Even if I decided to study, let’s just say for funsies, tax law for multinational enterprises (gag), I’d be able to work in a different country for a corporation that either has non-U.S. subsidiaries, or a non-U.S. parent with U.S. subsidiaries. But, I’d be working in one country. I can’t work for a year in one country, and then work another year in a different country. Comprende?

The choice I’m grappling with is whether I want to incorporate consulting into my career path, and if I do, what order should I do things in? I have created a flow-chart to outline every possible order⁴:

What has this shown me? That perhaps wanting to try everything is more of a character flaw than a virtue. There’s too much to try and too little time.

1. (Big) Consulting firms do not hire from each other. So, you cannot leave McKinsey to work at Bain or BCG. First of all, there’s rivalry between the firms. Second of all, the whole point of recruiting you fresh out of school is so they can groom you to be a McKinsey Consultant or a Bain Consultant. [↩]
2. Unless you go from a big firm to a little firm, but you would only do that if you could get a promoted title. Plus, small firms are less secure than big firms, and consultants are worried about job security as it is. [↩]
3. This is assuming you’re working in a firm. If you open your own office, technically you can practice any area of law you want. [↩]
4. I tried MECE – McKinsey would be proud. [↩]

Last Friday, the other assistant at my office quit.
She’d been thinking about it for two weeks, but she didn’t have the guts to tell LawyerMan until Wednesday night. She had actually found another job, at a much less hectic (and more professional) law office, and she was to start on Monday.

No matter what things I said about her – screwing up so many times, having the most ridiculous short-term memory of anyone I’ve ever met, not being able to multi-task if her life depended on it – she was a thousand times better than the assistant that replaced her. At least she cared about her job, she wanted to learn as much as she could and would work overtime almost every day (and come in on weekends) to catch up on work that she wasn’t able to get done. At least she recognized her shortcomings and tried. She tried so hard.

The new assistant who replaced her, whom I shall call ABB, is the opposite. She does not care about this job at all. She is chatting on the phone, as I speak, with a client, bad-mouthing other clients¹. This is what she does. She just chats all day, with her friends, with clients, with whoever she can drag into a conversation. Including me, when I’m not on the phone².
She is ridiculous. She doesn’t know how to do anything, she has loads of work to do on the cases that she took over from the previous assistant, and she spends all day chatting. When she’s not chatting, she tries to get up in my business, bossing me around despite not knowing anything. I am now carrying the weight of this office, and yet she treats me as if I’m her assistant.
God, I hate her.

When you talk like a bitch, walk like a bitch, and smell like a bitch, you know you’re a bitch.

She is a bitch.

1. Which is completely unprofessional and downright unethical. [↩]
2. And I have loads of work to do, let me tell you. [↩]

A jumble of thoughts from the mind of a workaholic:

• Once the novelty of running around town with million-dollar cheques in your purse wears off, it just becomes exhausting.
• In this day and age, why do we even have to deposit these cheques manually? I mean, have these people never heard of wire transfers?
• Yesterday, LawyerMan drove me to two banks so I could deposit two cheques before the close of the business day. He’s too important to deposit cheques himself but apparently not too important to be my personal chauffeur.
• A client asked me out for lunch the other day. I’m not sure what the office policy on dating clients is.
• In any case, I don’t think I’m old enough to be dating divorcees. Unless he wants me to be his 20-something twinkie in the city¹.
• Ever since MFL returned from Hong Kong/Singapore, we have been in constant contact. Yesterday, he texted me in the middle of the workday to remind me to go the bathroom². Not exactly a Dear Diary moment (woops, is that what this is?), but he must have been thinking about me, worrying about my retardedly busy workday enough to send a text message to remind me to slow down (At least, that is the typical female analysis of this situation. Boys, insights?).
• MFL and I are seeing a movie tonight. Just the two of us. Is this a date?
• LawyerMan just spent 30 minutes with me explaining how to electronically register real estate titles. That’s more time spent with him than all the minutes and seconds I’ve seen him in this whole month combined.
• Even though I bitch about how retardedly busy I am at work, I actually kind of love it. I love that for eight (sometimes more) hours of the day, I think about nothing other than the (overflowing) tasks at hand. I love that I am kept so busy I can even forget to go to the washroom or eat. I love that I have a reason to stay late even if I don’t get paid for it. I love that I work harder at this job than anything I’ve ever done before, because this validation (that I might actually love my job) will help me get through law school. And I love that I am really, really good at my job.

1. Friends reference. [↩]
2. Despite his reminder, I didn’t have a washroom break until 4pm, as I’ve already mentioned. [↩]

Summary of my week:

• Writing 25 post-it notes in one day, and only resolving 5 of them.
• Being sent on multiple errands to the post office.
• Using said errands as an opportunity to buy candy/chocolate/snacks¹, which I then stashed into my bottom left drawer, officially dubbed Candy Drawer.
• Giving myself sugar highs to get through the workday, along with pumping myself full of caffeine and Advil.
• Spending a total of 18 hours commuting to and from work. Which resulted in losing my magazine virginity to² Cosmopolitan. Now I know how to Pleasure Him in 15 Sexy Ways, and Get Hit On in Under 2 Seconds!
• Feeling professional/useful by editing and sending out several statements of claims. Signed, sealed, and delivered baby.
• Meeting friends after-work for dinner, accompanied by wine of course.

Why do you thank God it’s Friday?

1. The convenient store near the post office has an assortment of Asian candies, surprisingly, so my Candy Drawer now contains lichee candy, mango mochi, and an assortment of chocolate. [↩]
2. I think I am the only 20-something shopaholic who has never purchased or subscribed to a beauty/lifestyle magazine. [↩]

Working at a law firm can be unexpectedly depressing. Because, you really only need a lawyer when something’s wrong.
All day long, I receive calls from clients who want to divorce someone, or remove someone from their will, or sue someone, and with each call, I lose a little faith in the human race.

On my way to work this morning, I heard a homeless plan singing “What a Wonderful Life” in a coarse, slightly off-tune voice, and it’s been stuck in my head all day.

“So… my fiancee called off the engagement a week before the wedding. Do I have to return the ring? He threatened to sue me if I don’t return the ring. Can he do that?”
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

“I defaulted on my loans now the bank wants to seize my assets. Can I just move away?”
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

“My wife is in the process of applying for citizenship. If I divorce her, will that affect her application? Also, will she have any rights over my assets if she is not a citizen/permanent resident?”
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They’re really saying I love you.

“I would like to remove my wife and youngest son from my will. Can you draft the changes?”
I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They’ll learn much more than I’ll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.