Girl and City

So I decided that I really needed to get into “exam mode” and start seriously studying. I planned to wake up early and spend the entire day at the library (it’s open from 8am to 2am). Needless to say, my plan failed. Here’s some evidence of my so-called “studying” (I made these notes in Microsoft OneNote when I was supposed to be taking notes. And yes these are DIRECT quotes ladies and gentlemen. This is as close as you can get to a LIVE blog):

2:33pm
My ears are bleeding.

2:39pm
This website is hilarious! What kind of freak is he married to? <– a serious question.

3:10pm
Coffee = waiting in line
Waiting in line at Timmy’s
Waiting in line for washroom
Waiting in line to wash hands

Girl in line before me comes out of the stall and exclaims “It won’t stop flushing!”
Uh, what’s the problem? Is there toilet water getting on your ass? No? Well, then, what’s the big deal? There are five people waiting in line for a two-stall bathroom, and now you’re claiming one to be out of order because the toilet is continuously flushing?
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How many of you have ever gone on a strict diet only to realize that it was making you fatter?
*shoots my hand up* Me!

What are the restrictions of my diet? No carbs, one serving of protein a day, no chocolate (real or fake), and nothing made almost entirely of sugar.
Pretty much a big fat NO to everything I enjoy eating.
So I’ve been surviving on salads (no dressing), fruits, bags and bags of baby carrots (I think I consume about a pound of baby carrots a day, no joke), and coffee (although I’m not supposed to, I often ask for my coffee with half hot chocolate – which tastes really good by the way! – but technically, I’m supposed to have either dark coffee or that Splenda fake sugar stuff).
Says the girl who’s wiping muffin crumbs off her mouth.

See, if I actually were on that diet, I’d probably be thinner by now. Instead… well, for example, yesterday I had a liter of ice cream (homemade chocolate ice cream!) and a bag of chips. And the day before that I had a chicken finger wrap and a huge platter of nachos.

You see, the problem is that just the idea of being on a diet makes me hungry. Not your typical hungry either, it’s that kind of “OH EM GEE I AM DEPRIVING MYSELF OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN LIFE what wonderful and delicious things could I be feasting on right now!” craving for all unhealthy foods in existence. Sure, that happens to all of us once in a while, especially when we’re down and Haagen Dazs seems to have the answer to all of life’s problems. But imagine that kind of craving screaming in every inch of your being EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY.
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Amidst cramming my head with valuation methods, breakevens, and SWOT analyses while cramming my mouth with roasted peanuts and low fat yogurt and sesame dough twists, I suddenly realized: Since my conversion to WordPress from MoveableType two years ago, I have only made my own WordPress layout once.

Can I even show my face in public anymore? (By face, I mean… not face. Presence, maybe. And by public, I mean The Internet).
How is it possible that I’ve put this off for so long?? Sure, I’ve gotten a lot busier in the last two years, but having a beautiful website was something I used to pride myself on. Sometimes, it would make me visit my own blog more than twice a day! (This was before the popularization of RSS feeds — oh god, now I feel like an internet grandmother. I can just hear myself saying, “Back in my day, we had to click 20 times before we found a site with an RSS feed! *wheeze* Betty honey, be a sweetheart and pass me my false teeth. That’s it dear.”)
Maybe it’s because there are so many pre-made themes out there and WordPress makes it so easy to switch themes. But that shouldn’t be an excuse! I mean, that’s like saying “I’ve been wearing diapers all my life because they make it easy to shit in my pants and not worry about it.” I may be a veteran blogger, but I’ve always prided myself on being “up with the times.” And now, suddenly, I feel like I’ve just looked in a mirror and realized that my skin is pale and sagging, my boobs sit where my stomach used to be, I can’t walk down stairs, and I basically look like I died 20 years ago. Meanwhile, everyone else is running around with toned abs and sun-kissed skin.

So. Before I start any more online projects, my first task will be to make a full-featured WP theme for this blog from scratch.

Being at university, I am forced to become very friendly with public washrooms. This new friendship has made me realize several things:
1) The first stall is usually the cleanest. I don’t know why, but people don’t seem to like to go into the first stall.
2) The soap lady in charge of re-filling the soap containers is actually a ghost, and she can’t really move tangible objects, so all the soap is puddled on the floor/counters instead of in the soap containers.
3) Half the women who use the women’s washroom think they’re men.

The third realization is most shocking, but probably the most accurate. Why? Because I’ve observed that 50 percent of the time I enter a stall, there’s pee on the seats. And since it’s physically impossible to pee on the seats if one were actually seated on the toilet seat, these women must be trying to deny their gender. When will they accept the fact that a woman’s urinary complex is not designed to be able to aim?!
Seriously. If they have trouble accepting this, then they should practice their aim in the men’s washroom.

I also had a nice chat with the campus police via the elevator telecom today. I accidentally pressed the alarm button instead of a floor just as a boy entered the elevator. He didn’t see me press the alarm button, but did hear the telecom connect to the campus police. I think he was very confused as to what I had against him that I would want to connect to the campus police when he was standing a foot away from me, unless I was trying to frame him for assault.

Oops.

There aren’t many things that I regret, but my encounter with T is like a black smudge on my conscience.
I met T in Grade 7, the first year of my high school. She was over-enthusiastic and strikingly weird, but friendly just the same. We were “hello in the hallway” friends, but not much more. She invited me and my then bestfriend (J) to her Neopets guild, and we accepted. She made us “guild councilors,” although I don’t remember why. Maybe it was because she knew us in real life, or maybe because she wanted to bribe us for our friendship. Either way, I always had the distinct feeling that she was trying too hard to become better friends with us.
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