Girl and City

Coming-of-age story about a girl and her city.

Browsing the archives for the Me, Me, Me! category.

Curiousities

Everyone has habits or quirks that are particular to them. Sometimes, we’re not even aware of these behaviours until someone points them out to us or something draws our attention to them. These little habits are what makes each of us unique from another, but some of us have more quirks than others.

I’ve been told by many people that I surprise them, that I’m not quite what they expected. Although I’d like to credit this surprise factor to my unparalleled sense of humour, I am starting to think that perhaps it is due to my strange habits. Or what I’d like to call “curiousities” – as in, “Oh, that’s curious” (although no one talks like that anymore).

  • I watch Friends in my spare time. In all of my spare time. As in, if I’m not sleeping or working or in class, I am watching Friends. I have watched the entire 10 seasons of Friends at least 10 times. I have memorized every line, and yet I never seem to tire of Chandler, Joey, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Unless I am in the midst of watching another movie/TV show, Friends is in my DVD player. My roommate doesn’t understand how I can have Friends on repeat incessantly. What she doesn’t know is that, to me, they are almost like real people, waiting for me at home at the end of a long day. Their trivial problems and lame jokes that I’ve heard a hundred times are a welcoming escape for whatever else might be on my mind.
  • I have to look good for exams. I will always put thought into my outfit, blow-dry and straighten my hair, and put on make-up, before going to an exam. I know no one’s going to be checking me out during an exam, but the point is that I want to look put-together. I don’t want to look like I was cramming until the last minute because I wasn’t. I don’t believe in last-minute cramming. I figure, if I look ready and confident, maybe I will feel ready and confident. It’s the best good-luck charm/ritual there is.
  • I spend more time preparing breakfast than any other meal. I never skip breakfast to begin with, but even when I am too lazy to cook lunch or dinner for myself, I am willing to cook breakfast. Even more so on important dates, like exams and interviews. Somehow, it’s like starting the day off right makes me feel like I accomplished something, and if I feel accomplished by 9am, it’s hard to bring me down the rest of the day.
  • I don’t talk to strangers. Even harmless, friendly strangers. It’s not that I don’t know how to chat, it’s that I don’t want to. Perhaps it was ingrained in me when I was much younger, because friendly strangers were not as prevalent in China. But I’ve been in Canada for nearly 10 years and still, I do not want to have conversations with strangers. On the other hand, I can instantly become best friends with someone I’ve just met, but only after a formal introduction.
  • I believe in formal introductions. For example, if I am talking to Bob, and Bob’s friend joins our conversation, I will not acknowledge Bob’s friend until Bob says, “SG, meet my friend, X.” And then I will warm to X immediately. But if Bob never introduces us, I will ignore Bob’s friend and probably drift away from their conversation and let them continue without me.
  • I use the Thumbnail Method to peel a banana from the stem, and I cannot understand people who peel bananas from the opposite end.
  • I always use British spelling, and Canadians who use American spelling irk the hell out of me. I am even more riled when I see American spelling on Canadian sign-posts.
  • I always mix wasabi and ginger into my soy sauce when I eat sushi, even though I know it’s wrong. But I eat sushi because of the wasabi-soy sauce mix, so it’s not something I am likely to change anytime soon.
  • I like to wear heels but I hate the sound it makes on hardwood or granite floors. To mitigate this, I sometimes tiptoe in high heels so the heel doesn’t hit the floor.
  • If there is an ingredient I don’t like in a food, I will pick it all out, every last bit, even if it’s messy. If the bad table manners is really unacceptable in that setting, I will not eat it at all.
  • I am a picky eater, but I hate people telling me I am a picky eater. Because when they say it, it sounds like they’re chastising me, whereas in my mind, I am no different from a food critic (i.e. I am critical of the food I eat). On the other hand, I hate to waste food (of food that I actually will eat).
  • I only eat Navel oranges by slicing them into wedges with the peel still intact. I will never peel a Navel orange.
  • Before a night of drinking, I always make sure I have some fattening foods stored at my apartment. When I get home that night, I will always pig out and watch TV for a few hours until I pass out. So even though I may get home at 2am, I definitely won’t be in bed until 4am.
  • I can’t go to bed immediately after getting home, drunk or not. I always have to “de-compress” by watching TV or something, so that my mind is cleared before I go to bed.
  • I prefer to hang, rather than fold, my clothes. In my dream home, I’d have huge closets and no drawers at all.
  • I do not wear or own yellow clothes.
  • I feel naked without nail polish, even though most of the time, I wear clear or nude nail polish.
  • I eat cereal as a snack. When I am on vacation, the first thing I buy is a box of cereal, which can be both a snack and a meal.
  • If the United Nations does not recognize a state as a country, I do not recognize it as a country. And if anyone ever mentions it, I always immediately point out the fact that that state is not a country, even if it is not the time or place to start a controversial discussion. It’s like an instinctive reaction, even though sometimes I really should keep my mouth shut.
  • I like the idea of eating eggplant, but I don’t actually like eggplant.

What are your curiousities?

12 comments on this entry so far. Curiousities was published on February 25th, 2010, under the Me, Me, Me! category.

Affirmation

Have you ever thought that maybe someone liked you? You don’t know why you think so, but something in their gaze or something subtle in their actions alerts your instinct. Sometimes, you go out on a limb to test that theory. And when you fail to prove yourself right, you think, “God, I am such an idiot. Why would I ever think that he liked me?”

I have had this sort of experience hundreds of times. I’ve been told that I have strong intuitions when it comes to whether a guy is interested in me1, but most of the time, I cannot get any confirmation. More often than not, nothing becomes of it and I feel foolish for thinking a guy “like that” would like a girl “like me.” To experience this over and over again is a humbling practice.

But recently, I experienced the opposite, and I want a written record of this to remind myself that perhaps my intuition has been spot on more often than I thought.

When I went out on Friday night, I mentioned that I ran into a group of people I used to hang out with in first year. I never considered them to be my friends, but back in the day, we always seemed to be at the same parties. One of them, CG, used to live in my residence and was always very friendly. He was cute and we got along really well; I thought maybe he had a crush on me, but then I found out he had a girlfriend. I decided that he was just someone who was (naturally) overly friendly, but that he never actually liked me. I ran into CG two or three times since first-year, and he exhibited the same over-enthusiasm, which only confirmed my suspicions that this was the way he was. However, when he showed up at the club on Friday, he did not leave my side all night. Even DG noticed, but I kept telling her it didn’t mean anything. So, to prove to me that he really was interested, DG asked CG to buy us drinks. CG does not frequent bars and is not a big spender, but after looking over in my direction, he bought all of my friends and I drinks. He was a typical frugal Asian boy – he didn’t even buy himself a drink – but it looked like he was trying to impress me. I refused to be impressed and walked away, hissing to DG that she was not allowed to take advantage of him like that. “It only worked because of you,” she hissed right back.
For the rest of the night, CG continued to dance by my side, taking every opportunity to hold my hand or dance alone with me. He was all over me, not in a drunk, aggressive kind of way, but in a “Is this my chance?” kind of way. It almost felt like he was relieved to have run into me again. I smiled to myself, even though I was no longer interested in him. All I could think was, “I was right! Back in the day, when I thought he might be interested in me, it wasn’t just my imagination. I was right! I was right!”
When he tried to talk to me at the end of the night, I already knew that he wanted. Before he could ask me about my relationship status, I cut him off. “It was nice seeing you again,” was all I said, and left.

The affirmation that my instincts were right came way too late, but that is not the point. The point is that my instincts were right, and from now on, I should not so carelessly dismiss myself just because someone’s actions does not match what I think. As I’ve already said, boys do not make sense, but that does not mean I should feel foolish. Instead, they are the ones to feel foolish, because I was right.

  1. Maybe I am super sensitive, but I always notice when a guy makes physical contact, however casual. [↩]

4 comments on this entry so far. Affirmation was published on February 20th, 2010, under the Dating & Relationships, Me, Me, Me! category.

Wanderlust, a curable illness

A few minutes ago, my mother came in to find me looking at a very chaotic map on Google. “What’s that?” She asked.
“Linz, Austria,” I replied calmly.
“What are you doing looking at Austria?” She asked, quite rightly. In fact, I had never given too much thought to Austria. It was just a random country, adjacent to much more exciting places like Germany, Switzerland, and Italy.
“I’m going.” I said.
My mother should have looked at me like I was mad, but instead, she just turned around and walked away. This wasn’t the first time she’d caught me staring at a random piece of the world. Once, it was Shenyang, China, a random industrial city in northern China, not far from the border of North Korea. Another time, it was a gray patch of ice on the tip of Chile and Argentina, called the Patagonia Ice Fields. Another time, it was Palau1, a tiny sliver of island 800 km east of the Philippines.

Admission: to me, Google Maps might as well be Vicodin. It is totally addictive. I could be on it for hours, zooming into random corners of the world, islands, cities, straits, what have you, and then looking them up on Wikipedia. The combination of Google Maps and Wikipedia is like Vicodin and alcohol – beautiful but deadly.

At the ripe age of 21, I have a serious case of wanderlust. This is an illness that makes me want to throw a clean pair of socks and underwear into my backpack, grab my passport, camera, and wallet, and go. This is the type of illness that can only be combated by action, and inability or hesitation to act would paralyze me with the fear that I might never complete my Life List. This is serious business.

It was this overwhelming wanderlust that compelled me to sit down in front of my computer on January 1, 2010, open up Google Maps, zoom out until I had a map of the world, start zooming in until –
I decided: I am going to Europe2

Even writing this entry about my imaginary trip to Europe didn’t help. I need to actually do it. And believe me, I will. On April 15, 2010, I plan to say goodbye to Canada and hello to Europe. Eight countries, eight weeks. It’s on.

Summer 2010 Travel Plans
  1. Or rather Republic of Palau, one of the world’s youngest and smallest sovereign countries according to Wikipedia. [↩]
  2. I have been debating for quite some time whether, after April 10, 2010 when I am officially done school, I should take a trip to Europe or Asia. And Europe won. [↩]

9 comments on this entry so far. Wanderlust, a curable illness was published on January 3rd, 2010, under the Away From Home, Me, Me, Me! category.

Welcome to 2010

I ushered in the new year standing in OBF’s kitchen with a glass of bubbly, surrounded by six of my closest funnest friends from high school. This particular group of friends is one that I’ve kept in touch with the best – we always get together whenever there’s more than two of us back in The City.

Someone I didn’t really know was eavesdropping while I updated my high school friends on the Singapore situation.
“Aren’t you going to miss your friends?” She suddenly asked.
I paused for half a beat. “I didn’t really think about that.” She didn’t seem satisfied with my answer. “I figure I’ll make new friends there,” I added. It didn’t occur to me until later how harsh that sounded. The friends in my life now, the ones I’ve known for over seven years, are they replaceable?

I never put too much stock in friendship because I moved around a lot as a child, and I never had trouble making new friends wherever I went (keeping in touch with old friends, that was the trouble). It wasn’t until high school that I stayed in one place. But once I did, the friendships that formed were stronger than anything I’d ever imagined.
These are friends who are guaranteed to be able to make me laugh, and laugh so hard I need to take time-outs. These are friends who know me, and each other, so well that we can be around each other without any filters or pretenses. These are friends who I can call on after a year of zero contact, and pick up exactly where we left off.

When I think about it hard enough, yes, I absolutely will miss these friends, no matter how many new friends I make. When I think about it hard enough, I almost wish I’d picked New York instead of Singapore.

But I also know that these are friends for life. And that means, that no matter where I end up, no matter how scattered we become, our friendship will never change.

I have a lot to look forward to in 2010. For me, the new year means:

  • Graduating from university. Final exams end in early April for me, and I also have three weeks off throughout the term, so I only have three months worth of class left.
  • Traveling. Many of my friends from The Business School are on exchange this term, and they won’t finish school until early June. Which means I can couch-surf throughout Europe in April and May. I also plan on going back to China to visit my grandmother before heading to Singapore. So the plan is: Canada –> Eastern Europe –> Canada –> China –> Singapore.
  • Moving to Singapore. This is something I look forward to entirely separate from starting my job. I am planning to get a condo in the Central Business District (downtown Singapore), somewhere close to the subway lines, walking distance to my office, and of course, with all the bells and whistles of a Singapore condo (Olympic-size swimming pools, state-of-the-art fitness centers, and sometimes even maid service – seriously, each one is like its own little resort).
  • Starting work. I will be starting work at the Consulting Firm in September. After a one-week training, I will immediately be plunged into a project. Although it is very difficult to predict where the project will be, odds are it will be in China or Hong Kong. Other possible locations include: Thailand, Sydney, Tokyo, Seoul, or Europe, or North America. With the Consulting Firm, the world is literally my oyster.

2010 is a major turning point. It is the end of my life as a student and the beginning of my life as a fully independent adult. And I can’t wait.

What does 2010 mean for you?

9 comments on this entry so far. Welcome to 2010 was published on January 1st, 2010, under the Me, Me, Me!, Thoughtful Musings category.