That is, apparently, the cost of my vanity.

I went for a Japanese Straightening earlier this week. Four hours, $500 later, my hair was sleek, shiny, and pin straight.

It was exactly what I had wanted.

But I felt uneasy. When did I become so vain that I would drop $500 on my hair?

It wasn’t just about vanity, it was also (mostly) about convenience. I may be vain, but I am damn lazy. I want to look like a high-maintenance girl without being one, especially on this Europe trip¹.

I used to have zero-maintenance, naturally straight hair, but after I permed it, it became a frizzy mess that required blow drying and flat-ironing every day. It’s been a huge pain in the ass, and the more I flat-iron it, the more damaged it becomes.
Japanese Straightening is supposed to keep your hair straight without requiring any effort – you can step out of the shower and your hair will air-dry straight, you can put it up in a pony tail and it won’t leave a kink, etc. When I researched the effects of Japanese Straightening, many people said their hair actually became healthier, because the straightening lasts for 6-10 months, so the hair is saved from being flat-ironed for all that time. It sounded like the perfect solution.

After the straightening, my hair wasn’t too different from what it used to be before my perm, albeit smoother and shinier. Given that I had naturally straight hair, the hair stylist said that this will last at least a year for me, and it may revert my hair back to pre-perm conditions, which means I may never have to do this again.

So it wasn’t so much about vanity as it was about getting my old hair back.
But I still can’t believe I spent $500 on my hair.

What’s the most expensive treatment/product you’ve ever given yourself in the name of vanity?

1. I considered the fact that we would be staying mostly in hostels, sharing a closet-sized bathroom with upwards of ten people, potentially not even having a mirror in the bathroom, etc. and I realized that there was no way I could prep my hair for 40 minutes every morning.

We all know there are certain clothes that look good on us and certain clothes that don’t (well, I hope we know this). But do we know why?

I have been buying empire-waisted tops and dresses ever since they became popular, because I know they look good on me. It wasn’t until recently that I came to understand the why: because I have an undefined waist, so the empire waist draws attention to the part of my torso with the smallest circumference. Empire-waists usually also comes with some detailing across the bust area, which makes my small bust seem not-so-small after all.
I also know I look good in A-line skirts. Why? Because I don’t really have hips, and I have shapely calves, so skirts that flare out to my knees gives me a feminine silhouette (a fuller bottom than my hips would normally be able to provide) and shows off my shapely calves (stilettos help – an explanation for my love of heels).

My body shape is the rectangle, (I essentially have no curves) also known as the “boyish shape.” Is this an ironic joke? I have always been a bit boyish; for my entire adolescence I wished I was born a boy instead of a girl. Now, at the ripe age of twenty, I have finally come to understand why I failed to feel any semblance of femininity in my preceding 19 years. It’s because I don’t look feminine.

Armed with this new piece of information, I have been on the lookout for the cure to boyishness. Here are pieces I am currently loving:

What is your body shape? (I will do another entry where I will post outfits for a different body shape.)

HB and I have always had an unclear relationship. He is the reason I came up with the phrase “Ambiguity Land,” where he is a permanent resident. I guess you could say he is the founder of Ambiguity Land. Our version of hanging out is more like dating than anything I have ever known, and yet he has always had a girlfriend. It was a truly bizarre relationship when it started in the last year of high school, but now I have gotten kind of used to it. The more men I meet, the more I realize that dating other girls while in a relationship is not as blasphemous or as uncommon as I once thought. WAF, for example, is now fully involved with a boy who only dates women he is not in a relationship with. But that’s a story for another time.

I have long given up on trying to define the relationship between HB and I. The more I think about it, the less it makes sense. So, I simplify it. He is a cute, funny boy. I am a cute, funny girl. We are happy when we spend time together. We want nothing from each other except some company. That is all.
See? Wouldn’t it be nice if I could simplify all my relationships into four short sentences?

In a dimly lit parking garage, I changed out of my interview clothes and into the outfit I had finally settled on after an hour of trying on everything I had in my closet.

Lunch in Ambiguity Land by hyperdramatic featuring CHANEL earrings

The ruffle skirt was the focal piece, designed to accentuate my cuteness and take advantage of the first officially Hot day of 2009.

When I came out of the subway, he was waiting for me in a almost-black, striped button-down and dark-rinse jeans. His hair was tousled and he was carrying a slim laptop case. He looked every bit as adorable as I remembered.
We strolled down the street in the heart of The City, taking our time to find a place for lunch. I filled him in on my interview that morning and the failed interviews that preceded it. He filled me in on his withering interest in his classes and lack of direction in his future. I refrained from looping my arm through his and he refrained from holding my hand. I refrained from staring into his eyes and he refrained from smelling my hair. All in all, we behaved ourselves.

We ended up eating at a sushi place while reminiscing about the last time we’d seen each other.
“Was it Christmas? The reunion dinner thing?”
“Oh yeah,” I said, suddenly recalling the blur of that night. “Didn’t we get married? And then divorced?” And you were sitting on my lap?
“Oh yeah! And we named our kid… something bizarre. Korean barbecue or something.”
I laughed. “No wonder we got divorced.”
“But actually, that wasn’t the last time I saw you. You came for half-an-hour that time at the mall.”
“Really? I don’t remember that at all.”
He named off a few other people who were there to refresh my memory. “You were only there for like half an hour, and then you went shopping on your own.”
“I didn’t go shopping on my own! I was shopping before because I couldn’t find you guys. And by the time I did, I had to go.”
“Oh. Well either way, you were there for a very short time.”
Did you wish I had stayed longer? I didn’t ask.

He asked me what I wanted to do after but I said I had to go. The truth is, I didn’t want to spend too much time with HB because he has a way of screwing with my mind¹. He says and does things that make it seem like he’s into me, but at the end of the day, I know we will never be in a relationship.
He tried to talk me into staying longer, but I reminded myself that HB is and will always be a dead-end and I needed to cut myself loose. I am slowly learning to quell any hope I have for the boys in Ambiguity Land.

How do you deal with the murky and undeclared? What do you do about the residents of your Ambiguity Land?

1. Usually, when we hang out, we spend at least five hours together. I was determined to reduce that average to about half.

It is strange to be grounded at this age. Although now, I think it would be more suitably called “house arrest.”
The short version of the story is that I got into an argument with my mom, who forbid me from leaving the house tonight. I was all dolled up with no one to see me. So, I have recreated my outfit on Polyvore:

Flower Power Cocktails by hyperdramatic featuring Buti handbags

I couldn’t find my exact dress on Polyvore, so imagine shades of red flowers with a black belt instead of a purple satin bow. And, of course, my shoes were not nearly as cool as the ones depicted. But everything else looks about right.

My outfit today embodies what I love about this summer’s style:

• Shape: Empire and A-line dresses. Great for those lacking hourglass curves or who need to hide a bit of a “pear bottom¹.” If you are lacking a proper waist, empire waist dresses and tops focus the eye on the narrowest area of your body. The big flare of an A-line dress also makes your upper body look smaller and your legs thinner.
• Flares: A-line, bubble and ruffle. The bigger the flare, the more I love it. Again, it’s all about the flare to hide the hips and make everything else look comparatively thinner. The dress I was wearing had a second layer underneath to poof up the skirt, and a black lace lining that poked out underneath.
• Length: To the knees or just above the knees. I may not have runway-model legs, but I do have nicely shaped calves. Dresses and skirts that end just above or just below the knee are the perfect length to hide my thighs but show off my calves (and my shoes!).
• Colours: Big floral prints and colourful geometric patterns. Summer means colour, and lots of it. Don’t pick subdued colours – bright, striking colours are in! I love picking bold colours that grab people’s attention. And if your outfit is not as colourful, you can always pick some bold accessories. I once paired a bright teal snakeskin clutch and matching stilettos with an all-black outfit (black A-line dress and black cropped coat). Since black is such a common colour, I needed something else to stand out – and I got tons of compliments for my clutch and shoes that night!
• Clutches and purses. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of clutches because I am no good at keeping track of what I’m supposed to be holding. I fear that I will put down my clutch at some point during the evening and never pick it up again. But, the good thing about this season’s clutch obsession is that animal prints and snakeskin are everywhere! I love snakeskin clutches and purses! It also gives you an excuse to buy (colourful) snakeskin shoes, which look great with jeans.
• Shoes: strappy heals. Being somewhat short, I need heals. And this season, there are a lot of strappy stilettos out there. Except this time, the straps are the focal point, so these shoes are usually way easier to walk in than the stilettos with only one or two very thin straps. The shoes this season are covered in straps, both thick and thin, sometimes with buckles or zippers. Open-toed heels also give an opportunity to show off your colourful toes (think Brights by OPI).
• Accessories: head bands, bows, and big rings. I’ve only recently picked up the “big ring” obsession, but now I can never be found without a big flower ring on my hand. I have always loved head bands and bows, and thanks to Gossip Girl (more specifically, Blair), bow headbands are now in in in! Does it bother me that I have had bow headbands long before the time of Blair Waldorf? A little. Especially when I see girls teeming at the headband racks of Forever21, which used to be utterly ignored. But like my love for snakeskin, flared dresses/skirts, and colourful prints, I have to learn to share my taste for sassy accessories with the masses.

So, clearly my outfit was infused with a lot of fashion wisdom. Too bad no one could witness such a momentous occasion. Oh well, I’m sure there will be many more patio happy hours to come this summer.

What are your favourite trends this season?

1. Pear figures: hips are wider than bust/shoulders.