Girl and City

Coming-of-age story about a girl and her city.

University rivalry, I-bankers, and alcohol

So I had an utterly exhausting weekend. Mostly because I slept about 10 hours in total since Thursday. Coffee saved me. Every. Single. Day.

I had a conference in The City the last few days. In order not to miss class, I went to an 8:00AM class on Thursday morning, then got on the train for The City. On the train, I ran into a classmate who was also heading into The City for interviews (it’s summer recruiting season for him). I had wanted to sleep on the train, but no luck. Instead, he spent two hours running his mouth off about all the interviews he had1. When I got off the train, I wanted to take a taxi to the hotel, because I didn’t want to walk the two blocks with my luggage. Yeah, I was tired and lazy. But the taxi driver wouldn’t take me! He said it was too close, I should just walk. So he literally dumped me on the sidewalk.

By the time I arrived at the hotel, the cocktail reception had already started. I checked into my room to realize that I had roommates. Three roommates, no less. Was this a joke?
When I realized the conference organizers weren’t joking, that I was expected to share a bed with a complete stranger, I was not amused. Two of my roommates were in first year, and my bed-mate was in fourth year. They were all from the commerce program of The Other University.
I quickly staked my claim by unpacking my stuff over as much area as possible (their shit seemed to have exploded all over the hotel room and bathroom counter – although I should have expected that when I realized there were going to be four girls sharing one very small bathroom), and changed into a business casual dress for the reception.

At the reception, I realized that of the 100 delegates, about 15 were external delegates (including myself). That means that only 15 people were from another university, and the rest of the 85 people were from The Other University. The Other University and The Business School are rivals, so I tried to avoid the question, “So what school are you from?” lest the mob descend on me on the first night.
It got worse. I also realized that most of the delegates were first and second year students. I was probably one of four upper-year students.
Let me explain the gravity of the situation. I was in enemy territory, surrounded by nearly 100 people who did not go to my school and did not like my school. I was also surrounded by nearly 100 people who were barely of age and were running around asking for fake IDs so they could go to the evening bar festivities. They were so naive that they had no idea what the difference between finance, accounting, and consulting were, and was under the delusion that they could get a career in any industry they wanted. I wanted to strangle them.
Suffice to say, this was not my scene. (more…)

  1. He had literally gotten every single interview. He had second rounds from every single investment bank as well as the top three consulting firms. This kid was impressive. [↩]

8 comments on this entry so far. University rivalry, I-bankers, and alcohol was published on January 25th, 2010, under the Away From Home category.

Officially Single

“Did you tell MFL yet?” WAF asked me, soon after I told her about my job offer in Singapore.
“No,” I said immediately. I had scarcely given it any thought. I mean, I hadn’t talked to MFL since we had that conversation about not seeing each other anymore.
“Should I?” I asked as an afterthought. “I mean, I haven’t talked to him or thought about him since our conversation,” I said aloud, more for my benefit than hers.
“Well, that’s good,” she said encouragingly.

“Do you think… Tell me honestly, what do you think about MFL and I?”
WAF paused for a second. “I used to think you two would end up together,” she said quietly.
“End up together? Like, as in, married together?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah. Like married. But that was when I thought you two would both be in Toronto after university. Now that you’re going to Singapore, that changes everything…”
I sat back in semi-shock. Did all our friends think we would get married someday? How could they harbour these thoughts when MFL and I haven’t been together in nearly four years? How could they harbour these thoughts and still let me cut him out of my life?

It makes me wonder whether I should tell MFL that I’m leaving. It feels weird to break our no-speaking pact just to make an announcement. And what would be the point? To see his reaction? To get him to finally admit, or even realize, that he still has feelings for me?
Even in my own mind, I think it’s absurd to expect anything. He’s MFL. He’s always been passive and complacent. If he didn’t step up when I made it clear I was giving up on him, he’s not going to step up just because I’m moving halfway around the world. And let’s be honest, I’ve enjoyed these past couple months of not thinking about him. In fact, I can honestly say, “I am not in love with him anymore.”
I am not in love with him anymore.

Maybe I will always feel something when I’m around him – or around any guy that treats me like he does, for that matter – but it doesn’t mean that he can make me happy for life. In spite of what a great boyfriend I know him to be, it is now clear to me why he was not enough. He doesn’t go after what he wants. He won’t fight for the girl he loves, nor the relationship they have. And after the break-up, I wanted to believe that he could, that he just needed a wake-up call. Maybe that’s why I waited so long. But not anymore.

No, not anymore.
SG is officially single and looking.

16 comments on this entry so far. Officially Single was published on October 29th, 2009, under the Dating & Relationships, Friends category.

To dream jobs and no babies

Today I signed my offer with The Consulting Firm and mailed it. I received the offer package a couple days ago but I waited until my parents had a chance to review it before accepting it. Obviously, they were thrilled. I will be making more money than they had ever hoped for, certainly enough to be fully financially independent. In spite of the excessively expensive housing prices in Singapore, I can afford my own place in a condo in the city and still have disposable income to spare. It is a dream come true in every way.
I have only ten months standing between me and the next phase of my life, six of which is to be spent in school. I hope to travel for the other four months – perhaps to Europe with some friends, definitely to China to see my ailing grandmother.

Yesterday, I met WAF in The City for some shopping and dining. Although she was happy to hear my news, she was preoccupied with her own.
“I might be pregnant!” She hissed at me through the racks of a particularly tacky store.
“What?”
“I don’t know, my body has been acting weird lately.” She proceeded to describe to me just exactly how her body was acting “weird.”
“Have you missed your period?” I asked.
“No, I have it in a week.”
“So, it’s not for certain. It could just be your paranoia. Why don’t you take a test?”
“I don’t think I want to know.”
We dropped the subject as we continued shopping. Over dinner, I approached the matter again.
“I don’t know how you could not know. I mean, if you’re not, then you don’t have to worry.”
“But what if I am?”
“Even if you are, it’s not like you don’t have options. It’s not like it would be outside of your control.”
“If I am, should I tell him? But which one should I tell?” She had had unprotected sex with two different men on two consecutive nights a few weeks ago. Believe me, I work very hard at not judging.
“If it doesn’t make a difference to your decision, then I’m not sure you need to. But you may not even have to worry about that if you just take the test.”
She finally agreed that she wanted to know, and she wanted to know while I was there. So near the end of dinner, I slipped out and bought her a pregnancy test and she took it in the bathroom. She was testing a few days earlier than the test recommends, so the results are not necessarily conclusive, but either way, it came out negative.

“Phew,” she said, when she finally came out of the bathroom. She’d have to take the test again closer to her period, but at least for now, she was comforted. We decided we needed to celebrate – my job offer and her non-pregnancy – so we went to a swanky bar on the 51st floor of a building that overlooked the entire city.

“Cheers,” I said, raising my glass.
“What are we toasting to?” she asked.
“To dream jobs.”
“And no babies,” she added.
“Cheers,” and we clinked glasses.
As we sat outside on the wrap-around balcony, sipping champagne, and admiring the city lights, I silently took a snapshot of the view and vowed to remember it. For all my yearnings to get away, I still loved this city. It was beautiful and familiar and welcoming. It was the city I grew up in, the city that taught me about love and heartache and friendship. It was home.

“I’m going to miss this place,” I said, to no one in particular, and raised my glass as a toast to The City before I finished the champagne. Goodbye, Toronto.

14 comments on this entry so far. To dream jobs and no babies was published on October 26th, 2009, under the Friends, Job category.

Girl Gone Wild

“Girls Night Out or Girls Gone Wild?” was the question I was trying to answer this Saturday night with WAF. We’d been planning a staycation for this weekend because we both needed to let out some steam. To get the best bang for our buck, we booked one night at a hostel1 and planned to start the weekend off right, with shopping and cocktails, followed by pre-drinking at a lounge and ending the night at a club.

At noon on Friday, we were just finalizing our plans via a flurry of excited emails2 when I received an email from LawyerMan asking if I still wanted to work for him as a legal assistant at his firm. I hadn’t heard from him since the interview, where he had made it abundantly clear that I was grossly underqualified for the position. I had interpreted the lack of communication as “I am too busy to even email you to let you know that, like I said at the interview, I don’t want you,” and left it at that. When I read his email, a simple one-liner asking if I was still interested in the position, I jumped at the opportunity and immediately said yes. I asked him when he wanted me to start. He said Monday.

Keep in mind that not only was I currently working, but I was in a different city! What kind of employer emails you on Friday afternoon to tell you to come in on Monday? Did he think I’d been sitting on my ass, twiddling my thumbs for the entire four weeks since the interview?
But of course I said yes, because I was afraid he’d change his mind. After all, this was the sort of opportunity that could really help me with my career, even if the opportunity came with an inconsiderate boss.
(more…)

  1. two summers ago, I had stayed at hostel with Zee and ER so I was comfortable with it, but this time we were staying at a different hostel, so I wasn’t sure if it would be sketchy or not. It turned out to be quite clean, although the location was a bit sketchy. [↩]
  2. Both of us were at work and, apparently, not that dedicated to our jobs. [↩]

19 comments on this entry so far. Girl Gone Wild was published on June 29th, 2009, under the Alcoholic, Away From Home, Friends category.